A Prayer to Artemis
by NovemberMurray
Summary: After falling so far and being banished by his once-family to earth as a mortal, Loki finds a new family in unexpected places. Together they try to help each other heal from illness, betrayal, and loss while a dark future looms over them. Rated T for mature subjects (prostitution, alcoholism, etc.) . Slash Tony/Loki (past Tony/Pepper).
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I started this story long ago and posted the first chapter. I've made a few changes to that now and hopefully fixed some of the mistakes. Since I'm really bad at posting things gradually I'm just not going to. So here it is, everything that I have. I hope you enjoy. -Ember (warning: Angst ahead)

Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers or Marvel or any of the Marvel characters.

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A Prayer to Artemis by November Murray

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There was a time in Tony Stark's life when he would have enjoyed the lavish charity ball, the decorations that dripped in expense and the banquet tables that overflowed with decadence. At an earlier point in his life he would be at the center of the society affair with women on either arm flaunting his money and his fame to anyone with half a brain and anyone with more he would dazzle with his casual intellect leaving a wake of strong opinions, positive and negative. But that time in his life was over. So Tony Stark stood between half remembered acquaintances making small talk and forcing laughter, clinging to his drink like a lifeline.

It was between groups of disinterested party guests who didn't approve of his crime fighting lifestyle that he caught sight of the tall figure across the room. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him, or worse his PTSD. But then in the middle of pitching his newest project half heartedly to a potential investor he saw the haunting profile and his words drifted off. The third time he was sure, he would recognize that face anywhere. So drink in hand he approached, cautious under his well-practiced casual confidence.

His target caught sight of Stark when he was halfway across the room. Tony took pleasure in watching terror and dread flash across a face more accustom to smirks and knowing smiles. The man's green eyes went wide and his shoulders tensed. He became very still, holding his breath as his old enemy approached.

"Ms. Morgan," Tony addressed the woman first, "it's good to see you again. And might I say you look great."

"Flattery gets you nowhere, Stark," the old frog responded. She wasn't really much older than Tony but she did bear more than a passing resemblance to an amphibian.

"Worth a shot."

"If this is about the Artemis Project I want nothing to do with it. You've got your hands full with bad press and I don't trust not to drag my name through that mud pit of ethics and human rights bull!"

"Oh good, saves me the trouble of repeating myself."

"You're a fool, Anthony Stark. You should have stayed in weapons. You were at least good at that."

"I beg to differ, I was catastrophic," Tony replied and turned from her to her more handsome partner. "Have we met before, cause you look kind of familiar."

"No," the man said, having regained face as Tony talked to Ms. Morgan. "I don't believe I've had the honor."

"Oh well you know who I am."

"Tony Stark," the man responded with a tight smile.

"If you would excuse us Mr. Stark, Mr. Striver wanted a word with me," Ms. Morgan said and pulled on her date's arm.

"It was a pleasure," the man said to Tony with a self-satisfied smile as he walked (was dragged) past. But Tony's hand shot out, grabbing the man's arm just above the elbow and bringing the two other guests to a stop.

"No, it's not really cause I can't get this resemblance out of my head. I had this enemy see, once upon a time and you look just like him down to that sick smirk on your face," Tony was almost growling in the man's ear.

There was the clack of heals and a very flustered and red-faced Ms. Morgan appeared at Tony's elbow. "John will be hearing about _this_!" She hissed at the man and he paled, eyes going wide with sudden desperation.

"No, please, Ms. Morgan…" But she was already stalking away, wide feet in her low heals making loud _tap-splat_ sounds as she went.

"Oops, lost your date?" Tony said happily. "Come on, you couldn't have been that interested in her," he continued when the man's face fell in disproportionate anguish. Tony let go of the man's arm when it started shaking. All he got was a dark glare of shimmering green eyes before the Loki look alike strode purposefully out of the building.

Tony was left standing in the middle of the room and blinking stupidly. He was sure, dead sure, would bet all his money _and _his suits that the man who'd just glared at him was the very same Loki who had thrown him out a window five years ago.

"More Champaign sir?" A waiter asked and stupidly Tony nodded and handed over his empty glass. He didn't wait to get a filled one though, instead he headed for the door. From the top of the steps outside he could see Loki's pale face and the light off the shoulders of his suit, walking swiftly down the street. He followed slowly, keeping his distance and straining to remember everything that Natasha and Clint had taught him about tailing a suspect.

Loki walked without hesitation to the nearest payphone, outside of a 24 hour drug store. He fished around in his pockets for a quarter before he could make the call and it gave Tony enough time to pull out his phone and turn on the custom directional microphone and point it toward the phone booth.

_"__I need a pick up."_

_"__Corner of Lexington and 4__th__. No I didn't blow it."_

_"__I know. Look just come pick me up."_

_"__Tell Johnny I can explain." _The soft sound of the dial tone interrupted Loki's desperate words. He leaned forward and put his head against the grafitied metal sides of the payphone and hung up. He didn't do more than look up in the ten minuets he waited for his ride. Tony waited and watched, becoming more and more sure of the resemblance with each minute but also more confused. Loki was running shaking hands through his hair when the beat up Mustang drove around and parked beside him illegally.

A tall man in a well fitted dark shirt and jeans got out, slipping on a white hat and dropping his cigarette on the curb. Two large men followed out of the back seat. Tony scrambled to get his mic back up before they started talking.

_"__You got a problem with the customer, Lulu?"_

_"__No, Johnny I swear I didn't…"_ Loki didn't get to finish because a wave of Johnny's hand and his thug slammed Loki in the gut. Loki let out a moan and coughed wetly.

_"__Ah, Vinny, don't break the merchandise." _Johnny complained then turned back to Loki. _"Save your excuses, Lollipop. You're on strike 2 and I don't like givin' out third chances."_

_"__Please… If I don't…"_

_"__SHUT IT LUKE!"_ Tony thought his headphones would burst from the sudden noise. _"The only thing you should be worried about," _Johnny said softly again, bending down to Loki's level where he was curled up over his gut, _"is which of my employees gets to collect the little princess." _

_"__Johnny I swear I'll…"_

_"__You just don't listen!" _Johnny cut Loki off. He hand flashed out and Loki gave a short strangled cry of pain when it connected and he convulsed for a few seconds before Johnny let him collapse to the ground moaning.

_"__Get him in the car and be…" _Tony cut off the speaker and flipped the camera around to take a picture of the license plate as Loki was ushered and shoved unceremoniously into the back seat with dumb and dumber. The car took off at an alarming pace.

"Jarvis," Tony said to his phone.

_"__Yes, Sir." _

"Bring me my car and track that license plate, I want to know where they drop off Lulu."

_"__Right away, Sir."_ True to his word the AI delivered Tony's shinny black Tesla Model S to the corner in under four minutes. With Jarvis directing Tony caught up to the Mustang as it turned the corner after it's first stop. He slid to a silent stop at the curb between a group of trashcans and a rusted out Toyota with four slashed tires. He couldn't have looked more out of place in the seedy DC neighborhood. There wasn't a house without bars and grates over the windows nor a square yard without a cigarette butt and a scattering of litter. Tony leaned back and peered into the half light of the old buzzing streetlamps.

Loki looked just as out of place in his fine suit and clean shaven face. He seemed to feel it and once he had dusted himself off from a rough landing on the concrete he hurried to the door of a low one story apartment. He knocked tentatively then let himself in. Tony cut his engine and pulled out the mic again, pointing it through the open passenger window at the door.

_"…__back early, Luke."_

_"__Yeah… Umm… didn't go as planned."_

_"__Are you ok? You look a little ill."_

_"__I-I just got mugged."_

_"__Oh."_

_"__Hey, I don't have any cash-"_

_"__I wouldn't take it if you did."_

_"__Shea, this is the third time this…"_

_"__I don't mind, honest. You take care, Luke"_

_"__You too, tell your father I said thank you."_

_"__Course."_

A dark skinned young girl about fourteen came out of the house, a glowing cell phone in her hand. Quickly she crossed the street to her own home, glancing warily up and down the street until she'd gotten inside and locked the doors tight. Tony could see Loki watching her, eyes following her and waving before she shut the door. Tony took his chance and got out, slinking quietly up to the door just as it was closing.

Tony jammed his hand in and held the metal door grill open. Loki felt the sudden resistance and turned quickly, just not fast enough. Tony had pried the door out of his hands and stood firmly in the doorway.

"Nice neighborhood," He said cheekily.

"Stark!"

"So you do know me now!" Tony grinned wider.

"Everyone knows who you are," Loki growled. "Now get out of my house."

"Umm… no." Tony replied and walked in. He could see Loki's balled fists and tight muscles. To be honest he was surprised the God hadn't attacked him yet but Loki had done a lot of strange things that evening.

"Nice place," Tony noted as he walked past battered furniture, a duck tapped leather couch covered in blankets, an outdated television and bare cracked walls. "Doesn't compare to Asgard does it?"

"Please be quiet," Loki said through gritted teeth.

"Why? Is your buddy listening? What's his name Heim—a—something." Tony said and tapped his chin, watching veins popping in Loki's forehead. "I'll remember it, give me a minute."

"Please just leave. I don't know you and I don't want any trouble."

"Come on, God of Mischief always wants trouble."

"Please keep your voice down," Loki was almost begging, Tony wanted to know what real begging looked like on the God up close. He was having a hard time not seeing the sneering look and sick smile that had tormented his dreams for so many years. Begging would be a nice change. He walked around as he talked and Loki moved in mirror to keep distance between them, pushing himself further into a corner.

"So what were you doing at that party?" Tony asked. "Something devious I bet, part of some grand plan, what? You need Ms. Morgan's money?" Tony asked and watched a cascade of barely concealed emotions wash over Loki's face; anger, horror, worry, frustration, shame, fear. The man backed away and his proud shoulders hunched. "What angle are you playing huh? What are you after? What kind of sick—"

"Daddy?"

Both men froze.

"Emily!" Loki breathed out and in a flurry of movement dashed across the room to the door where a small girl clung to the frame.

"Daddy are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Loki assured her in a voice that shook. "Just an old friend dropping by. Nothing to worry about. I'm sorry we woke you."

The little girl glanced from her father to Tony, who was standing dumbstruck in the middle of the room. She was small and thin, no older than seven. Her arms and legs were painfully thin sticking out of her oversized pink Disney t-shirt. Her bare head was covered in sparse red blond fuzz that caught the glow of her nightlight from inside the room. Her wide innocent blue eyes sent shivers down Tony's spine. Something about her smooth hairless brow and the dark circles under her eyes made the little girl look old beyond her years.

"Emie where's your hat?" Loki asked with worry.

"In bed."

"Go put it on."

"Where's Shea?"

"She went home."

"Why? She said you wouldn't be back until late."

"Things changed," Loki said with a tight throat and pushed her into the room. Tony watched through the doorway as the tall lanky man put the little girl to bed, securing a knitted hat over her fuzzy hair and tucked the sheets high up under her chin. Then he fumbled around with the cord of a tank tucked away behind the little child's bed, securing it under her nose. He said good night to her in a horse whisper and assured her again that everything was ok before shutting the door.

As soon as it clicked shut Loki turned with a piercing glare and stalked across the room until he was face to face with Tony.

"Alright!" He whispered harshly, "you're right, it's me. But by the Norns keep your voice down!"

"Fine," Tony whispered back with a dramatic sneer. "Cute kid." Loki went pale like he had back at the charity ball. "I'm not going to hurt her, that's your department." Tony said defensively. "Evil mastermi—"

"I have never sought to hurt children!" Loki hissed with true disgust in his eyes.

"Whatever," Tony said with a bitter note as he laid back on Loki's couch. It let off an aroma of mold as soon as he sat down and he wondered what was living in it. Tony decided to burn his clothes as soon as he got home just to be safe.

"So," He said and looked around again at the squalor. "The great would-be-king, reduced to this. I thought we sent you home to be punished."

"And I was," Loki replied, still standing.

"Doesn't look like it."

"You think I enjoy being here?"

"Maybe that's punishment for a God but I don't think it's going to fly with SHIELD. The way I see it you just got turned into one of us. That just makes us the same."

"The same? The same as you?" Loki gave a short laugh and glared at Tony. "You were born into money and power. You had parents who loved you and cared for you. You had opportunities and choices. You never had to beg and grovel at the feet of your enemies, you were never so desperate as I have been, you do not know the pain and the sufferings that I have watched and taken part in to survive and to protect…" Loki's voice trailed off and he turned away abruptly to hide the raw anguish and anger breaking across his face.

"So a few years of hardship makes up for…"

"You think I was speaking only of my banishment? You are a fool. I did not become the way that I am in merely a few human years."

"And that gives you a free pass to invade New York and _kill_ hundreds of people."

"I have nothing to say."

"Nothing?"

"The time to say such things has past. Nothing I say now will change what you think, Stark. I am not so naïve as to believe that."

"You're a real piece of work you know that," Tony spat. "I should turn you over right now, New York still has the Death Penalty."

"No, please," Loki's demeanor changed faster than a light bulb being switched and he was truly begging now. He reached out with shaking hands as if he could snatch bake the offensive words. "Please, Emily has no one else. If you take me away from her…" His voice trembled and dropped low, "please… She… she shouldn't die alone."

It was less satisfying that Tony has hoped it would be, it actually wasn't satisfying at all. Loki's face was slack with shock and sorrow as he looked at Emily's closed door and there were dancing reflections in his eyes that spilled over silently down his cheeks.

"What's she got?" Tony asked, thinking of the tank nestled between the pink bedspread and the pealing wallpaper in the next room.

"Lung cancer," Loki whispered. "It's treatable but… it's expensive and she's not very strong. I… I do what I can but…" Loki took a deep shuddering breath the whispered so soft Tony almost didn't catch it. "If I had all my power I could cure her in the blink of an eye." Loki's eyes were focused somewhere in the far distance hungrily for a moment then they focused again on the dirty windowpanes and uneven floors of his home. His voice shook as he finished, "but instead I have to watch helplessly as her body tears itself apart."

"She yours?"

"In every way that matters, yes but no, she is not biologically mine."

"Didn't think so, too old. Why do you care then?" Tony asked. Loki looked at him and judged the open and un-hostile curiosity on Tony's face.

"If I tell you will you promise not to reveal me?"

"Sure. I guess. But I lie."

"I don't have any choice but to trust you," Loki replied and sank into a wooden chair with a roughly replaced leg and a few broken struts in the back. Taking a few breaths Loki started his story, "her mother was very kind to me. She found me on the Maryland coast. She was a single mother and she could use the help so I took care of Emily while I recovered."

"She just found you on the beach and said, great a free babysitter?" Tony asked incredulously.

"I see you won't be satisfied until you have the whole story."

"Well if I'm going to break the law for you, no."

"Fine. I won't tell you how I ended up on Assateague Island but that is where I met Susan Haywood, Emily's mother. She lived outside of West Ocean City in the house of an old widower. He had taken her in when she had no where to go and so she took me in as some kind of repayment, she felt… a kinship with me I guess." Loki made a grimace and picked at lint on his pants. "Susan had run from an abusive partner, Emily's father. She never asked where I came from or why I was alone, assuming correctly I had my own story. She was kind and trusting to a fault, and desperate. She left me home with Emily because the old man couldn't move around much and she worked in town. It was an agreeable arrangement."

"What happened to her?"

"_He_ found her."

"Husband?" but Loki was shaking his head.

"They were never married, but yes. She was taking the Widower into town to the doctor when he found them. He was so high he rammed their car in an intersection. Susan made it to the hospital but there was nothing mortal medicine could do for her." Loki hissed the last words with venom. "Humans, you're so fragile, so easily killed."

"We manage."

"Somehow." Loki said it as a dry laugh, somewhere between true awe and disgust. "Tell me, do you ever feel naked without the armor? Do you ever feel vulnerable in just your skin?"

"Sometimes," Tony said uncomfortably, "but the armor is just an extension of my brain. Even if I don't have it I've still got this." Tony tapped his head.

"Yes, you would think that way." Loki looked away.

"So what? You all out of God juice?"

"What?"

"Well, you haven't shot balls of glowing death at me yet and you already said you can't fix little Orphan-Annie so what happened? Fizzed out?"

"It's a bit more comprehensive than that," Loki said calmly. "I am human, completely and utterly. I have a human body and a human lifespan. I have lived for two thousand and nine human years but I have barely two percent of that time left, less considering…" his gaze lifted to the barred windows and grimy panes of glass.

"I see what you mean, that guy that picked you up didn't look too happy… or forgiving."

"And I have you to thank for that!" Loki snapped, throwing a glare at Tony. It dissolved into an exhausted expression and Loki ran his hand over his face then through his hair, leaning back in the creaking chair and swallowing thickly.

"What did I do? Scare off your clientele?" Tony had meant it as a joke but the shame was so easy to see on Loki's face. The billionaire just stared with an open mouth, too shocked to be tactful.

"Uh… when did… why?" He fumbled for words. Loki looked away toward the door of Emily's room.

"The bills add up… I can't get much in the way of legitimate work. I lack the proper documentation. I can't exactly put Asgard down as my place of birth. So I do what I'm good at. First it was street fighting, which paid the bills for a while. But I'm too good at making enemies. I'm a fairly good judge of character; I got under their skin a little too well you could say. So I tried getting under their skin a different way. When it started it was just a little money to keep her clothed, keep good food on the table. Then John Miller found me. Spineless narcissistic fool that he is, Emily would be dead six months ago without the money he could get me." Loki whispered the confession.

"Shit," Tony breathed. "And you don't want me to tell your brother—"

"No!" Loki shot up out of his chair as if shot.

"Ok, ok." Tony held up his hands. "Just seems like you need help."

"No. I…" Loki gulped, "the God of Mischief has too many enemies and I have no way of protecting her from them as I am now. He can't help her and neither will… they." Loki pointed up vaguely. "It is not their way to interfere with mortals."

"Hmmm."

"Are you satisfied, Mr. Stark? We had a deal should you chose to honor it, and I really would like to get some sleep tonight. I have an early shift tomorrow so I can take Emily to the hospital."

"Chemo?"

"Yes."

"Umm… about…" Tony fumbled for words.

"It's nothing you need concern yourself about, Mr. Stark. Please just leave," Loki cut him off, standing.

"No, wait," little Emily's voice made them both jump again and she came scurrying out of her room to grab onto Loki's leg.

"Emily, I told you to—"

"But he's Iron Man!"

"Yes I am," Tony said, squatting down to her level and smiling.

"How do you know my dad?" She asked.

"Oh we go way back," Tony said with a grin. Outside there was a crashing sound and Loki moved to the window quickly leaving Tony with Emily.

"Mr. IronMan, where's your suit?" She asked.

"Oh I left it in the car," he said with a shrug.

"Oh," she stared at him unflinchingly.

"How would you like an autograph," Tony offered.

"A what?"

"It's like proof that you really met me."

"Ok."

"Stark," Loki said from the window. "I believe someone is trying to steal your car."

"Oh shit!" Tony scrambled to finish his signature. He folded the paper sloppily and pushed it into the kid's hand with a wink. "Don't lose that." He told her as he jumped up.

"It was fun Reindeer Games."

"Hardly," Loki replied, coming to stand behind his daughter.

"Lighten up," Tony replied, "mortality ain't so bad."

"That is not what keeps me up at night," Loki replied blandly and put his hands on his adopted daughter's shoulders.

"Then what does?" Tony asked as he backed out the door.

"Gods," Loki replied as the door swung shut and locked with a click. Tony stood in mild confusion for a moment then walked down the garden path, calling his suit through his headset as he did. The trunk of the Tesla flew open and the three car thieves beside it jumped out of their skin. They took one look at Iron Man standing on the sidewalk before making a break for the shadowed allies between houses and wire mesh fencing, holding their pants up with one hand and their hats on with the other. Tony just shook his head and went to inspect the damage.

Emily watched in rapture as the whole scene unfolded.

"He's really IronMan, daddy!" She said with a wide smile, looking up at her father. He looked tired; he always looked tired. But this time it was different. "He gave me his autograph too… I can share it with you." She said and held up the piece of paper Tony had shoved in her hand. Loki looked down at her curiously and bent to take the piece of paper. He sucked in a sharp breath and quickly flattened out the check. Tony Stark's scrawling signature decorated the bottom under the crisp numbers; _15,000.00_. There was even a note at the bottom: _for Emily._

"What's wrong Daddy?" the little girl asked and Loki looked down at her and smiled as best he could.

"Nothing, Emie. Everything's wonderful." Loki pulled her into his embrace and she hugged him back with her thin bony arms. "Everything's going to be ok." He said as much for her as for himself, relief and joy and treacherous hope washing over him.

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Author's Note: I wrote this story on a whim based on the summary of another fanfic. It developed into something more and then just kept going. It's more than 40 thousand words now and still not finished. I'll post the ending once I've found the motivation to write it. (You can help by reviewing!) –Ember


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Loki tried not to think about where he'd come from, how far from Asgard and royalty he had fallen. He tried not to imaging the distain and disgust Loki Odinson, second Prince of the Realm Eternal, Trickster God, Prince of Lies, Silvertongue would think of Luke Larson, mortal, single father, beggar, and desperate whore. When such a thought did slip into his mind he thought of Emily. He remembered the small girl who would bring little violets and chipped seashells to him as he lay in the guest bed of the Widower's beach house. It gave him strength. Not the kind of strength that Loki Odinson coveted but the strength to fake a smile, to lie and to deceive. In a twisted way he enjoyed his work. There was pride in satisfying a customer, in judging correctly what they wanted before even they knew. For all that his pride had been broken by his desperate situation, he took pride in that skill. There were prettier men, larger, more muscled, even more talented men, but he knew people. He could find their dark desires, their greatest fears, and their hidden sins, and that was what made him good at his job.

Still there was that knot of apprehension before meeting a new client that Loki got standing in the entryway of the Willard Hotel. Worse, he didn't know a thing about the man, not even a name. Jonny's instructions had been short and sweet: "Don't fuck this up." Loki had chosen not to comment on his choice of words. It would have been easy, satisfying, to give a snarky retort, even if his words earned him more than a few bruises. He could deal with bruises. Emily couldn't. Emily held his tongue. Emily kept him playing the act of a submissive idiot for Jonny. Emily was the reason he was standing in a suit he could barely afford in a hotel lobby worth more than his house waiting for a nameless man. And he begrudged her nothing.

"Mr. Larson? Luke Larson?" A voice asked and Loki turned to the sound with a charming but not overly bright smile. He noted the man's cheep shoes first, decent suit, wide girth, pudgy neck and the burn scars that crept up from under his collar. Immediately he knew this wasn't his employer. "The car is outside."

"Of course," Loki said with a nod. The man opened the door of the black Audi for Loki and drove them away from the hotel in silence headed eastward.

"Who is it I am going to meet?" He ventured to ask and got only a passing glace in the rear view mirror from the driver.

"He said you knew him." There was honest confusion in his voice and Loki had the feeling the man didn't know the nature of the arrangement that brought Loki to his employer. Loki shrugged. If this man didn't know there was no reason to tell him.

The car pulled into an underground lot before Loki caught sight of the building above and they spiraled down to a private door that opened for the driver automatically. The black Audi pulled into it's designated spot in the line of shinning cars in the private lot. Loki stepped out and raked his eyes over the rows of ostentatious sports vehicles all in matching shades of bright red. The smells of fresh oil and leather filled his nose. He was caught between the urge to shake his head in exasperation and to growl in frustration, but he did none of that because he was working. So instead he just smiled, feigned ignorance, and let the driver lead him to the private elevator.

"All the way up, Jarvis." The driver said as Loki stepped in, and then he leaned back to let the doors close, leaving Loki alone in the metal box as it began to lift upward. The small lights above the door flashed as the floors flew by and Loki looked at the dull reflections in the bright gold and heavily polished dark wood paneling. 20 floors later the shinning door opened on a large penthouse apartment.

Loki stepped out cautiously and looked around at the sparkling cleanliness of the nearly monochromatic decorations of glass and black leather. It was surprisingly impersonal, not a magazine or a framed picture anywhere in the large living space strewn artfully with chairs and couches on designer area rugs that still smelled new, like a department store.

Tony Stark walked around the corner, casually dressed in a black T-Shirt and an old pair of tailored pants that were a little too large and stained with grease. He had one hand in his pocket and the other cradled a crystal glass against his chest. A sly half smirk came over his face when he saw Loki.

"Hey, Reindeer Games."

"Mr. Stark."

"Tony, please."

"As you wish."

"Oh really? We're doing that now?" Tony asked walking over, the amber liquid in the bottom of the glass sloshing as he ambled.

"It's your money." Loki pointed out as Tony came to stand just a foot away. The billionaire looked him over with calculating eyes as Loki did the same. A small thrill of fear slid down his spine and he felt sweat on his palms. Tony stood comfortably, but it might have been a show. His eyes didn't betray a hunger or intensity that might suggest sexual motive. There was no anger, barely even amusement on his expressive face. If anything Stark looked tired, deep circles under his eyes and a slight pallor to his skin coupled with the unwashed stale smell that wafted off his clothes. But under all of it there were bright intelligent eyes that scrutinized Loki as closely as he was scrutinizing his client. Though smaller, physically weaker and slower there was a physical confidence and comfort that Tony had in his own skin that made him seem dangerous. Loki, the man who had intimidated gods and argued morals with demons, found that he didn't know how to respond.

Without warning Tony smiled a harsh, almost predatorial smile that chilled Loki to the bone. Tony turned away and lifted the glass as he walked, downing its contents. He went to the small bar on the near wall and sat down reaching over the counter for a bottle and a fresh glass. He filled both before turning around again and holding out one.

"That drink you asked for," he said with a smirk.

"Is that why I'm here?"

"I can't have people saying I'm a bad host," Tony said with a shrug and Loki took the glass from him. He swirled the contents but didn't drink. Tony finished his in a one swig and the crystal clacked loudly on the counter, the sound echoing in the large space and off the hard surfaces. Tony looked from Loki to the glass then said, "I'm curious."

"You're paying me for information?"

"More like a distraction."

"From what have you need to be distracted?"

"Well if you're asking that you're not very good at your job." Loki hid his grimace.

"What is it you wish to know?" He asked taking the seat across from Tony gracefully.

"Did it help? The money?"

That was not a question Loki had expected and he hesitated before answering. He let sincerity bleed through in his voice.

"Yes, yes it did. Emily's treatment went well and the new medication helps her eat better, keep it down. She's putting on weight; she needs it. Some days she seems almost… normal."

"Good, good," Tony muttered. He reached for the bottle again. His hand nearly knocked it over and Loki caught the teetering jar. Slowly he poured Tony a glass and the man nodded his thanks before throwing it back.

"Are you drunk?" Loki asked, peering at the billionaire. It was deceptively hard to tell with Tony Stark.

"Getting there."

"I see I have a lot of catching up to do then," Loki replied and drank his own glass down. He contemplated the taste and the burn in his throat then smiled. "That's good."

"Damn right. I only buy the good stuff."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Because it's me. So, Loki," Tony let the name roll slowly off his tongue, "how have things been since the King of Darkness or whoever tried to destroy the world last, where was it? Greenwich? Greenwich of all places!"

"King of Darkness?"

"Mal-something."

"Oh Malakeith," Loki smiled his old smirk, one he knew Tony would recognize, watching all the while for a reaction. "He was a fool," Loki continued in a haughty tone, "he sought to use a power he couldn't control, like a child swinging a rifle as a club."

"Yeah that's what I heard. Pissed you off, enough to work with your brother, excuse me, adopted brother."

"Yes well, I'm easily bored. Prison suited me ill."

"And this," Tony motioned to him, "suits you better." Loki faltered and he knew his façade cracked momentarily. "Yeah. Nope. I don't believe it." Tony awkwardly refilled his glass and slid off his stool, ambling to one of the couches and sitting down hard, ignoring the slosh of his drink.

"So what really happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why work with Thor? What was the deal?" Tony, though his drink sloshed in the glass he held Loki's eyes steadily. Loki sighed. At the time he rationalized his decisions by saying he owed Tony a debt. Later he would wonder if that was the whole truth. Or if maybe he was lonely in his banishment, if all the stresses had finally compounded and broken him. Loki stood and walked over the chair across from Tony, sitting down and lounging comfortably. He dropped all pretenses and the façade of his former self.

"Revenge. In exchange for showing Thor the secret ways out of Asgard he would release me from prison and give me a chance at revenge."

"For? Malakeith steal your thunder? Sorry, bad choice of words. Did you have dibs on ending the universe? I mean the ancient Norse seemed to think you did."

"Oh yes, that was quite a laugh."

"You saying you had something to do with that? Why am I not surprised?"

"I am the god of lies and mischief, spinning stories is how I earned that title."

"Of course. But you're avoiding the question. Revenge is kind of our thing, you know. We are the Avengers."

"Yes, interesting choice of names, almost as if you anticipate failure so as to give yourselves purpose."

"Never thought of it like that but whatever, you're still avoiding the question."

Loki pressed his lips together and glared. He swallowed and looked down at his drink, twirling the liquid in the bottom of the glass.

"My mother."

"Wait, she's-not-my-mother mother or your real mother?"

"I know nothing of my birth mother. Frigga was the only mother I ever knew, mother to me in all the ways that mattered."

"And those are?"

"Frigga loved unconditionally. She stood by Odin through atrocities and mistakes, she stood by Thor despite his brash and destructive ways, she stood by me even when I returned a war criminal." For a long moment Tony just stared at Loki's blank face his eyes searching up and down for any twitch or indication of emotion. As the silence stretched on Loki wondered what Tony's intelligent brown eyes saw.

Like before Tony's smile was sudden and seemingly unprovoked like he was listening to another conversation that Loki couldn't hear. For someone who was usually so good at reading people, it frustrated the God of Lies that this inner dialogue was completely lost on him.

"Did it work?"

"Malekaith was defeated, yes."

"I know that. Sun's shining isn't it."

"I do not understand the question."

"Your revenge, did you get it?"

"Yes," Loki murmured, "part of it." He looked down at his drink where liquid anger and solace swirled in shades of amber.

"Feel any better?"

Loki just looked at Tony over his cup as he drank it down.

"Yeah, I know how that is."

"You have lost family?"

"Don't know if I'd call him family but a month or so in a hell hole together can do wonders for a friendship."

"There is a story?"

"Yeah, not a good one."

"There are no bad stories, it is the telling that makes them great."

"A liar would say that, wouldn't he," Tony chuckled.

"Where is the line between a lie and a half truth? When does History become Fiction or Fiction History? If everyone believes a lie does it not become truth and if no one believes the truth then is it not a lie?"

"Ok, I haven't had enough alcohol for you to ask those kinds of questions."

"Then another?" Loki asked, standing with his empty glass.

"Another!" Tony handed his over. "You're still avoiding my questions though!" He said as Loki walked to the bar and gave a small smile over his shoulder. Tony scrutinized it from his chair. Loki shivered again as he looked into those unreadable eyes.

"You wish to know how I arrived on earth."

"If I'm gonna be keeping this secret for you."

"You have already promised not to reveal me."

"Yeah, but I remember also telling you I lie."

"I do not think so."

"Willing to bet Emily on it?"

"I will never bet with Emily's life." Loki said seriously as he returned with the next round. He passed Tony his cup and subtly made sure their fingers brushed in the action. Once he was sitting comfortably again he answered the question. "Odin thought it fitting to punish me as he did Thor when he too threatened to bring war to the nine realms." Tony snickered.

"Sorry, I can't imagine Thor doing… what you're doing."

"Prostitution?" Loki said bluntly.

"Yep, that."

"No, he would not and how I chose to spend my banishment was not the All Father's concern."

"Right, Thor went and found himself a hot girlfriend. You found yourself a pity case."

"I did not take Emily in for _pity,_" Loki spit the word, "diseased mortals are more common than their healthy counterparts."

"How many of them recently lost their mother because of their deranged father, besides you?" Tony asked.

"Are you always so annoying when drunk?"

"Annoying and right?"

"No."

"Yes, and I'm not even drunk yet."

"And you get smarter with inebriation?"

"I do my best work when I'm drunk."

"Ah yes, only a drunk man would conceive of that metal monstrosity to which you daily trust your life."

"That or a malnourished man with his chest hooked up to a car battery and a gun pressed to his temple. It is my best work though I must admit." Tony's face betrayed nothing and Loki just stared at him.

"You were forced to make the suit?" He asked after a pause. Tony finished his glass and then looked down at the bottom of the cup.

"They wanted a weapon, so that's what I made."

"And they were satisfied with it?"

"Not really. I don't think they intended for me to use it against them."

"I see. You had your revenge then?"

"Yeah," Tony muttered darkly. For a moment Loki saw real emotions he could understand on Tony's face. Anger, lingering anger, that could not be quelled no mater how much blood was spilt. That was something Loki could relate to. Loki hid a smile in his glass.

"I owe you my gratitude then, Stark."

"What for?"

"It was you who carried the weapon through the portal and destroyed the Chitari strong hold, was it not?"

"Yeah, but why would you…" Tony trailed off at the look Loki was giving him.

"The Chitauri were foul, cruel beings and I don't mourn their death. They would have used the tesseract to wage war on the nine realms. It would have been a bloody futile conflict resulting in the Chitauri's inevitable destruction."

"So not your best friends then?"

"I have no friends, Stark."

"Again with the 'Stark'," Tony moaned.

"Tony," Loki amended.

"Thank you!" Tony looked at his glass and frowned when he found it empty. Loki reached over and plucked it from his hand, heading back toward the bar.

"What do I call you, Lollipop?" Tony asked.

"You may call me what ever you wish." Loki said and only with years of practice did he restrain his flinch.

"You would really do anything for that kid, wouldn't you."

Loki poured Tony another drink. Behind him he heard the billionaire stand and approach.

"I mean you would actually sleep with me if I told you to," Tony said as Loki turned and held out the drink. As Tony reached for it Loki pulled his hand back, stepping closer so he stood over the smaller man. He leaned down to Tony's ear close enough for his breath to brush the man's skin.

"And you would like it," he promised. He smirked at Tony's shiver and put the glass in Tony's hand, letting their fingers brush again. Tony pulled away and for a moment. He was miraculously speechless. Loki just let a soft knowing smile quirk the corner of his lips before he took another sip from his glass and walked toward his seat as if nothing had happened. Tony seemed frozen for a moment, then turned to Loki.

"I've slept with a lot of people."

"So have I. In nearly two thousand years, I've learned a thing or two." Loki didn't even give Stark the satisfaction of a glance.

"Wow, you are a cocky bastard." Tony rounded the chair Loki sat in and slumped back into his own seat.

"Stark, you wouldn't respect me if I wasn't."

"Who says I respect you."

"Well I'm still alive."

"You have a point."

Tony stared at Loki over his glass, pupils wide and licking his lips. Loki could see the other man's mind working even if he couldn't hear the conversation Tony was having with himself. This time though there was no smile.

"You hungry? I'm hungry! What do you like—No, wait—better plan—what does Emily like? I'll order extra and you can take it home for her. Hamburgers, I could go for hamburgers right now and who doesn't love french-fries."

Loki was shocked into sudden silence by the rapid shift of conversation.

"Macaroni and cheese," He managed to say, "her favorite food. It's macaroni and cheese."

"Great! Harry's makes great mac and cheese, Jarvis, call Harry's. Macaroni, who says macaroni anymore, please. Get us like four, Jarvis and a hamburger, grilled onions, and, what do you want?" Tony looked at Loki. Loki held back a laugh.

"A hamburger will be fine."

"And another for Reindeer Games."

"Of course, sir," the computer replied. It was not the strangest job Loki had ever done but he was tempted to say it was the most pleasurable. Dinner arrived and they ate it amiably. Tony continued to drink through the meal though he thankfully slowed down. They were sitting back watching the sun setting over the DC Skyline when Jarvis said Tony had a phone call. It was Tony's CEO, a cranky man under a lot of stress who seemed to cope through forced pleasantries and in Loki's opinion needed a better outlet or a different career, who was calling to berate Tony about work that needed to be done before the sun set in California. When the poor man was on hold Tony turned to Loki.

"Sorry to cut this short," Tony said to Loki. "Too bad we didn't get to the fun part. Happy's waiting down stairs to take you home, or wherever."

"Thank you."

"Tell Jonny-boy I said hi."

"Of course."

"You'll do no such thing."

"No, I won't."

"Then tell Emily," Tony caught a look in Loki's eyes as he got up to leave, "or don't."

"It was a pleasure as always, Mr. Stark."

"Yep." Loki turned and walked away, glancing at his watch when the gold doors of the elevator were closed. He bit his lip. One part of him didn't want to question the charity Tony was showing him, it was thinking only of Emily, the debts building up in piles of paper hidden away in his bedroom, and the weight of the take-out box in his hand. Another part wondered what angle Tony Stark was playing, how much worse his situation might become and what more he could afford to lose. Loki dropped his arm and turned back to the fuzzy warped reflection in the polished metal. The answer to the last question was clear; Emily.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I really don't understand you," Tony said. He was holding a glass of scotch that sloshed dangerously close to the lip and reaching over the chess board balanced on the padded footstool to move his knight out of danger.

"I'm really not that complicated," Loki replied as he moved a pawn. "Much like you."

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment." Tony moved his bishop.

"I believe insulting clients is logically bad for business." Loki moved another pawn.

"Yes but you defy all logic and reason." Tony moved his king.

"I'm hurt. I like to think I am a rational agent for chaos."

"And thus the contradiction, and you say you're not complicated." Tony moved his queen.

"I'm really not." Loki moved a pawn. "Check."

"Then explain the logic of invading the most populous and well defended city in the world." Tony moved out of check.

"New York is neither the most populous, that would be Shanghai, nor the most well defended." Loki moved his knight. "Check"

"Excuse me, what other city has a Hulk coming to its rescue?" Tony took Loki's knight.

"I do not believe it was the city of New York that the beast was fighting for, it seemed he was motivated most by his own enjoyment." Loki moved his queen.

"Point taken." Tony's eyes followed Loki's last bishop across the board. "But still, New York was a terrible place to attack."

"I thought it served its function well." Loki moved a pawn again. "Check."

"Explain that one." Tony took the pawn with his king.

"I might if you win." Loki moved his queen again.

"Fuck!"

"Check mate."

"You slimy bastard," Tony drained his glass and glared at the chess board.

"I like this game."

"Of course you do, you like winning."

"Who doesn't?"

"No arguments. Again?"

"I have no desire to beat you again. You have drunk too much to be an engaging opponent."

"Give me half an hour."

"To do what?"

"Get more wasted. I could only ever beat Roodie when I was smashed."

"A friend of yours?"

"Who?"

"Roodie."

"What?"

"You just said…"

"Shut up about Roodie, Ok? You don't know shit about him!"

Loki fell silent. Tony put his head in one hand and the glass dangled dangerously in the fingers of the other.

"I need another," he mumbled and stood up, "Want one, Lokester?"

"No, thank you."

"For an agent of chaos you're very Canadian."

"A majority of residents in Canada would disagree and many more would be offended."

"So?"

"And I did not earn the name Silvertongue for nothing."

"Didn't make you a lot of friends though."

"No, most people do not appreciate being manipulated."

"No, we don't." Tony poured himself a large glass and ambled back to the couches. Half way he stumbled on the new, black and white patterned carpet and amber liquid sloshed over the side of the cup and onto the floor. Tony ignored it and sank back into his seat. He took a few sips before he spoke again.

"How's Emily?"

"She's doing well." Loki forced a smile.

"Yep." Tony nodded. "That's what you say every time and that's why you were drinking coffee from a vending machine when you got here. I mean do you know what they put in that stuff? You must have been really desperate to drink that."

"I admit your scotch agrees with me better," Loki replied and sipped from his own glass.

"Damn right," Tony drained half of his.

"Emily was admitted last night." Loki's voice was a horse whisper.

"She alright?" Tony asked without thinking. Loki froze, glass halfway to his lips and slowly turned his head to give Tony a glare, leveling the man with burning blue-green eyes. Not a muscle of Loki's face twitched as he turned away again. "Ok, dumb question." Tony muttered. "She still there?"

"Yes."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Working."

"She's—"

"Expensive," Loki cut Tony off. "Time's almost up."

"Yeah, Happy will drive you back to the hospital."

"No, I need to go home and change."

"Why? Got another job?"

"Yes."

"Right."

There was a moment of tense awkward silence.

"Why don't you come around Wednesday?" Tony asked suddenly. Loki jumped and cocked his head to the side, questioningly.

"You want to skip next week?"

"No. I like meeting on Mondays; Mondays suck with Wednesdays as a close second. You're the most intelligent company I've had all week and I work with the 'greatest minds of the age'." Tony quoted the recent review of his company's Artemis Project that he'd been complaining about for the past two weeks. "That is if you're not busy with real clients," Tony mumbled and drank his scotch.

"I- I am actually but next Wednesday my schedule will clear up."

"You plan on pissing someone off?" Tony looked over the lip of his cup with one eyebrow raised. "Isn't that bad for business."

"Yes but so are bribes."

"Eh?"

"Never mind." Loki said with a mischievous smile.

"Sir," JARVIS said as if on cue. "Mr. Hogan has arrived with the car for Mr. Larson."

"He'll be down in a minute." Tony said to the ceiling.

"I should be going."

"Sorry we didn't get to the fun part."

"Perhaps next time, Mr. Stark."

"Yep. Tell Emily I said hi."

"Of course."

"Hey! Wednesday!"

"Same time?"

"Yeah, what ever. JARVIS, put that on the calendar."

"Right away, sir."

"Good evening, Mr. Stark."

"See ya round, Reindeer Games."

"You do miss that helmet don't you?"

"Not at all. Abomination to style."

"And your tower was a contribution?"

"Smart ass."

"Always." Loki grinned at Tony as the billionaire leaned back on his sofa to look over his shoulder. The elevator doors closed and the car jerked as it began it's decent. Tony was left sitting alone in the large empty living room that smelled like disinfectant and new carpeting. He grimaced and drained his cup.

"JARVIS, order more scotch."

"Sir, I should remind you that it is almost dinner time and you have not eaten since—"

"Mute."

.

Loki was brought out of his exhausted daze by the hollow clatter of plastic and rubber hitting the floor.

"Uh oh," Emily whispered and looked down at her doll on the floor, her shaky hands still held out in front of her and the dolls flowered skirt in her lap.

"It's alright, I'll get it." Loki replied and leaned down.

"Thank you, daddy," She said and took back the precious friend. "I'm sorry, Christie." Emily cradled the doll to her thin chest, smiling at the dark face of the Barbie. It was the only one she owned, a second hand gift from Shea. The long curly hair was course and cropped unevenly by a child's hand. There were a few bite marks on the feet from Shea's younger twin brothers and only a hand full of clothes for the neglected toy but it was Emily's best friend. Loki owed Shea more than he had for the simple gift. It may not have meant a lot to the teenager but it did to Emily. Loki looked over the plate of hot dog pieces and half full bowl of vegetable soup.

"Emie," Loki frowned. "You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry," She muttered and petted Christie's head.

"Emie min, please, just a little more? I don't want to fight about this—"

"You have another red spot," She said and pointed at his neck. She knew it bothered him when she pointed them out and he knew she was trying to change the subject.

"I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about you. You need food Emie."

"I'm not hungry."

"Do you feel sick?" He asked bending toward her.

"No."

"Emie? Why don't you want to eat your dinner?"

"Not hungry," She said again and pushed Christie onto the table, pointedly looking away from her adopted father. She reached over the table to the small television resting against the wall and pressed the buttons.

"Emie, not while we're eating."

"I'm not eating."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

Loki sighed and rubbed his pounding temples with his fingers.

"There's an apple in the fridge, would you like that?"

Emily pressed the channel buttons until the snow and static went away. A scratchy news station came up on the screen.

"Emie? Would you like apple."

She glanced at him and then around the room. Loki leaned into her view. The child nodded slowly.

"Alright. I'll be right back." Loki reached over to turn off the television.

"NO!" Small hands grabbed his and pulled it weakly away from the button.

"Ok, Emie, just this once," he said. He went into the kitchen to get the apple and pulled out a dull knife to cut it. As he methodically peeled and sliced he watched Emily at the table. The frail girl was wearing a cotton dress, leggings, socks and a sweater that nearly covered her hands as well as her favorite pink hat with a sequined flower that she liked to have right in the middle of her forehead. She had Christie back in her lap and was petting her short jagged hair, ignoring the television where an announcer droned on.

"… the fire killed 12 people and burned for 10 hours. Fire Marshals claim it was accidental. In other news, the Director of the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs, Margret Morris, was arrested this weekend when shocking news came to light. Police Chief Wallace said in a press release early this morning that they had solid evidence that Morris—" Loki shoved a VHS tape into the old television and cut off the evening news. He put the plate of apples down next to Emily.

"What do we say?" He asked her as she reached for the first piece.

"Thank you, Daddy." She replied and shoved the apple in her mouth, chewing it loudly. She hummed a little in happiness and twisted Christie's arms. Loki smiled to see her eating even if it was only a little apple.

"One for you too," She said and held up a piece to him.

"I already ate, elskan," He said but she didn't take her hand down just pushed the piece of fruit against his lips. His empty stomach revolted at the idea of food but obediently Loki ate the fruit and forced himself to chew and swallow it.

"Good?" Emily asked.

"Very." Her smile made it worth all the effort and he smiled back. She took that as invitation and crawled across the chair into his lap, her bony knees digging into his leg. The small girl curled up with a yawn in his lap and held her doll to her chest. Loki tried not to flinch away. It wasn't Emily's fault; he just didn't want to be touched. He still felt dirty and defiled after his job that evening. He'd been trying not to think about it, the smell of the man's skin, the way his hands crept and grasped and the pain. Instead he thought about the bills that he had been sorting the night before, the already dwindling money. Emily's hospitalization that week had set them back and he would be struggling to keep the house warm enough as it was that winter. Emily needed a new jacket and he didn't know when he'd have time to go looking for one in the second hand stores that were quickly running out of supply. He wrapped the frail girl in his arms and stroked the pink hat.

"I'm sleepy daddy."

"That's cause you haven't eaten enough." He could feel her shaking her head against his chest. "Alright, bed then." Holding her he stood, lifting the small child with far too much ease. She was too thin, too weak, too small. He shuffled to her room, over broken toys and pushing aside ripped tutu's and mismatched ballet shoes. He laid her down and pulled up her covers, tucking them in firmly so she couldn't accidently throw them off in the night. He fixed her hat lower around her ears, the sequined flower still in the center of her forehead.

"Daddy?" She said softly.

"Yes, Emie."

"I love you."

"I know, Emie min. And I will be here with you till the end."

"Christie loves you too," She said, adjusting the doll so it lay on the pillow beside her.

"Tell Christie thank you."

"I will."

"Go to sleep, Emie. School tomorrow."

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes Emie. I have to work and you have to go to school."

"Why can't we just stay here? Why can't every day be a weekend?"

"Because of money."

"I hate money."

"Me too, Elskan. Good night."

"Good night." Loki bent down and pressed a kiss to the girl's small cheek. He turned on the pink night light beside her bed before closing the door behind him. He turned off the television in a daze, cleaned up the bowls and food, then wandered into his room, pointedly avoiding the shoebox of overflowing envelopes stamped with "URGENT" and "DUE" in favor of falling on the cold mattress and curling up in the musky scent of the old quilt there. He hoped the smell would drive away the floral scents of hotel cleaning supplies and starchy sheets. For a few blissful moments it did and he could remember the guest bed in a house by the sea. He could smell the salt off the ocean and the detergent Shannon used. He heard the old house creak as the wood frame shifted and the floors groaned even under Emily's small chubby feet. He could see the room in his mind, the cream walls and pale paintings of seascapes, even the small violets some dry and old, others fresh, arranged on the nightstand. Those were the last thoughts he had before drifting into the blackness.

.

Everything was white in the dream, white walls, white floors, white ceilings, white bed, white sheets, white cuffs on his wrists, white tag on his door, white gowns on the attendants, white gloves on white men with white masks and the lights, always the lights. _Do you know where you are? Do you know who you are? Can you tell me? I believe you. I believe you! And so I am going to kill you. But do not be afraid you won't die. No, I am just going to kill your mind. _And the lights burned his eyes and the white crept onto his skin. No, please! He had screamed. Can't you see this? He wanted to ask all the others in white. _Yes I'm the one doing it._ That one would say. _Yes it was me_ and the others just nodded and pushed the plunger. Tubes and tubes and tubes and he fought and fought and raged against the restraints. And the tubes bit him, the lights burned him and the white got into his mind and it bleached him, bled him dry.

Loki's eyes snapped open to the darkness and he gasped deeply off the frigid, foul smelling air. His wide eyes darted over the nightstand and the water stained wall dimly lit by the street lamps outside. Slowly, he sat up, letting the quilt fall away and the chill wash over his skin. It stripped away the last thoughts of sleep and lingering images of his dream. Loki rubbed a hand over his face. Movement caught his eyes and he froze.

Emily stood at the end of his bed with a blanket wrapped around her small shoulders and trailing over the floor toward the door. Her hat was askew and her bottom lip was trembling as she stared at her daddy with wide blue eyes.

"Oh Emie," he breathed. It broke a sort of spell that sent her scrambling over his bed to throw herself into his arms. A strangled sob broke through her lips as she clung to him with shaking arms. "Oh Emie, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"Daddy," she just moaned and held him tighter. Loki sighed and felt sick in his heart. Emily slept so little even without his nightmares disturbing her. Between the two of them they rarely ever slept the whole night through.

"Oh Emily." He held her close and pulled the quilt and covers up around them. He tucked Emily's blanket between them and wrapped her tightly in it. He fixed her hat with shaking hands while she sobbed lightly. He didn't have any words for her to make anything better. He didn't know how to explain why he had nightmares. He didn't have words that would sooth her back to sleep. So they laid there together, Emily crying softly and him silent, curled around her, trying to keep her warm. He pressed his lips to the rough knit of her hat and breathed in her smell, of ocean and sickness. It was foul and rank but it was real. After his dream of the white disinfected hell it was a welcome relief, grounding him to reality and to her. They lay together until the street lamps turned off. Emily dozed but Loki didn't dare sleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was the first time Tony was late to one of their Monday meetings. Loki was let into the penthouse above Stark Industries DC headquarters by the snarky and sarcastic automated butler. Loki found it surprising at first that Tony's butler would be so condescending and constantly exasperated with his creator but the more he was around Tony the more it made sense. The only thing Tony Stark loved more than himself was to argue and to win. His butler gave him that whenever he wanted but could be silenced at a single word.

"Shall I turn on some music Mr. Larson?" The butler asked.

"The news, please."

"Of course, sir."

Loki helped himself to a drink and poured one for Tony while the local news appeared on the far wall. It amused Loki that Tony had turned every flat surface in his house into a screen. It was only on Loki's insistence that they played chess with real physical pieces as he didn't trust Tony not to cheat. That was the next order of business that Loki attended to, setting up the small figures on the footstool. A familiar name on the news made him look up from his work, still holding the white queen.

"Margret Morris, former head of the Department of Consumer and Regulator Affairs, will appear in court next month concerning bribes she took over the past year for more than a dozen large scale building projects in the DC area. Allegedly oversights at the DCRA led to the George Williams' Children's Hospital fire last year that killed more than 30 people, 23 of them patients. Margret Morris was not available for questioning but Police Chief…" Bing.

Loki looked away from the screen when the elevator doors slid open. He put down the queen on her square and gave Tony a small smile. The billionaire was leaning back in the car wearing an expensive tailored suit and his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

"You warned me that you were not a prompt man," Loki said and turned his attention back to the pieces. "So far you have proven yourself to be just the opposite but perhaps it was a fluke and you are revealing your true colors. Tony's stumbling ambling footsteps approached. Loki reached over for Tony's glass and stood up to meet his client. Closer now he could see the flush of Tony's skin and sweat soaking through his thin dress shirt.

"Do you ever shut up?" Tony asked, his voice slurred worse than Loki had ever heard it and it gave him pause. Tony took advantage of that and took a hand full of Loki's shirt, dragging the taller man down so he could roughly press their lips together. Tony kissed hungrily with need and anger, one hand pressed against the back of Loki's neck and the other gripping Loki's hip near his belt, pressing the edge of the band into Loki's side painfully. Loki took a moment to respond but as soon as he did Tony's intensity doubled, his tongue explored Loki's lips and pressed forward. As Loki let him in he tasted alcohol and sleep on the other man's breath, foul and sickening but Loki didn't pull away. He leaned down, sliding one up hand up Tony's arm and the other cupped the man's jaw. Tony pressed forward and both men stumbled back. They broke away for a second and Tony growled, pulling Loki down again and pressing their bodies together. One second Tony was biting at Loki's lip and gripping him so hard it hurt.

The next he was pulling away panting and cursing.

"Fuck! What the fuckin' hell am I doing? I mean I don't even like you! And you! Why are you just standing there? You must have one sick fucked up mind and not that I didn't know that before but I mean really? God what was I thinking even doing this? I-I did not mean to do that. I shouldn't do that. Don't let me do that!"

"You want me to refuse you?" Loki asked in honest confusion, catching his own breath.

"Yes!"

"That's bad business, Stark."

"Business! Who gives a fuck about business, I've had enough business all weekend with Gregor breathing down my back about ever penny and dime. Really! Friends don't let friends have drunk sex!"

"Are we friends, Stark?" Loki asked, looking over the man before him. His lips were red from the kiss, his cheeks flushed with alcohol and his clothes a mess. He was trembling and swaying where he stood and even the ever-intelligent brown eyes were dull and muddled with drink.

"Well it's a lot to ask of a man you're not even friends with to keep secrets like yours, buddy. Sorry, you're stuck with me."

"Tony I really think you should sit down."

"I'm fine, I just need…" Tony trailed off and his shoe caught on the carpet, causing him to stumbled. Loki lunged forward to catch the man's arm. Tony cried out and flinched back, falling backward. Loki's arms wrapped around his shoulders and held him steady.

"Wha—I—" Tony gapped and slumped in Loki's arms with an all too familiar expression on his face. Loki quickly turned the man away before Tony gagged. The second gag had him heaving onto the floor, body convulsing with all the force it could manage and sending the vomit in a wide spray over the new carpeting. Tony hacked and coughed, still limp in Loki's arms, dangling over his own mess. The drunk man groaned.

"JARVIS," he croaked, "order a new carpet."

"Yes sir."

"Not green."

"Of course, sir." Loki noted the greenish color the current carpet was taking on and held back his own stomach.

"All right," he hauled Tony's arm over his shoulder, "let's get you cleaned up."

Tony only moaned in response and trembled. Loki dragged him to a bathroom before Tony puked again. This time most of it went down the drain. Loki cleaned up the rest with damp towels and toilet paper. He ran a cold glass of water for Tony and had the man rinse out his mouth and drink in small sips. By that point Tony's eyes were drooping and he could barely stumbled along to his room. There he was unresponsive as Loki eased him out of the uncomfortable dress shoes, very old and stained socks and the suit jacket and pants that would need to be dry-cleaned. Tony just fell onto the bed when Loki told him to and let the covers be pulled over him, muttering incoherently into the pillow. Loki sighed, sitting beside the bed and pulled out his phone. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and put the device to his ear. Two rings and it was answered.

"Hi, Shea."

"Luke."

"Yeah. I was wondering if you could babysit tonight. I promise I can pay you this time."

"Sure. Don't worry about the money. Emily's no trouble."

"She'll get back from school around 3:40"

"I can be there."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Is everything ok?"

"Yes. Emily's fine. I just… have a friend… who needs some help."

"Ok. I'll look after Emily."

"Thank you, Shea."

"Sure thing."

He dried a hand quickly so he could hang up.

.

When Tony opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was his ceiling. The second thing was the pounding just behind his eyes and the dryness of his throat. He groaned and he felt his whole throat burn.

"Shhh. Drink this," A cold glass was pressed into his hand and he felt strong arms pulling him up. Tony drank greedily; only water. He gasped when he was done and blinked as he looked around the dim room. Finally he looked at his guest, the man sitting beside him, letting Tony lean against his shoulder for support.

"Hi," Tony croaked.

"Good evening," Loki replied. He took the half empty glass and put it down on the counter. "A cleaning crew has been through your living room." Tony flinched and lay back on his bend holding his pounding head.

"I'd say sorry…"

"…but you wouldn't mean it." Loki finished. "It's quite alright, Stark. Here." Tony felt two small pills in his hand and forced himself to sit up long enough to swallow them dry. Loki passed over the glass of water and put in forcefully in Tony's hand. Tony grumbled but under Loki's glare he finished the glass. Loki took the cup back with a small smile.

"Give them a minute to take effect."

"Yeah," Tony mumbled and rearranged pillows so he could lean back on them and sit up in bed. Loki shuffled things around on the nightstand and the smell of chicken broth wafted over Tony. His stomach flipped and clenched at the thought of food.

"I have soup and crackers, which is about the extent of your pantry, but they are better than nothing."

"What I need is a good drink."

"'A good drink' is what got you here."

"Hypocrite."

"It has been over a thousand years since I drank myself into sickness."

"Pity for you," Tony mumbled but he leaned over and picked up some of the crackers. After a few bites spreading crumbs over the sheets he frowned.

"These are stale."

"Well they came out of your cupboard so I'm less than surprised."

"Cupboard, who says cupboard anymore." Tony muttered and picked up the bowl of soup. He drank it, ignoring the spoon then put it back on the nigh stand, leaving a few drips running down the sides to make a wet ring on the wood to add to the collection that stained the table top. Loki held back a sigh and didn't comment. He reached down the end of the bed and brought out a t-shirt and comfortable pair of jeans he had gotten out of Tony's sparse closet.

"Here is a clean change of clothes," he said and put them in Tony's lap. "Do you need me to run a hot bath or a shower for you?"

"Good lord," Tony said instead of answering and stared incredulously at the clothing. "You treat Emily like this?" He asked running one of his wrinkled, scarred and calloused hands over the t-shirt. Loki just blinked. It was in fact all the things he did for Emily. It was a routine by now, worn with time so it had lost feeling for both of them. It was like a checklist: water, pills, food, clothes, bath, sleep. Check, check, check; like a doctor's chart. Tony was surprised into silence by Loki's almost thoughtless actions. When he met Loki's eyes there was gratitude and hesitance there.

"Yes," Loki replied.

"Why do it for me?" Tony shrugged. "I mean your time was probably up hours ago."

"It was, but Jonny won't charge you for more than the usual."

"Emily?"

"With a babysitter."

"I should pay you for—"

"Shea wouldn't take the money even if I could tell her who it was from."

"You could have just left." Stark grumbled.

"You're the one who said we were friends."

"What? I don't remember that."

"Probably for the best," Loki said standing.

"Oh no," Tony put his head in his hands, "What did I do? Loki, please tell me I didn't do something stupid like get on a table and sing."

"No Stark you merely acted as would be expected of an arrangement such as ours."

"What?" Tony squinted at him. "Lokester, my head hurts too much for word games."

"You kissed me."

"Shit. Ok. Glad I don't remember that. Wow. You're not going to tell anyone cause Rogers would never let me live that down."

"Don't worry Tony, discretion is part of the fee."

"Good, 'cause if I'm gonna have that rubbed in my face for the rest of my life I'd like to at least remember it."

"I have had better."

"Ouch."

"Don't take it personally, Stark."

"And what if I do?"

"Then perhaps you will try again when you are sober."

"Do you ever stop flirting?"

Loki just smiled at him.

"Fine, get out. I stink." Tony groaned as he got up out of bed. Loki hesitated at the door when Tony staggered a little. "Go, Emily's waiting for you."

"Yes. She is."

"Tell her I said hi."

"Of course," Loki said with a smile as he watched Tony stumbled toward the bathroom.

"For once I'm not sorry we didn't get to fun part because not remembering _that_…" Tony shook his head and shuddered.

"Perhaps Wednesday."

"Your schedule clear up?"

"I knew it would."

"Piss off a client?"

"She's incarcerated."

"Really?"

"Even my moral discretion has its limits; not everything can be bought."

"I shudder to think," Tony said over his shoulder as he disappeared into the bathroom, through the door Loki heard him say, "JARVIS, call Happy to take Lokster home."

"Of course, sir."

Loki smiled a little as he walked to the elevator. Behind him he heard the tap start to fill the large Jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom. Tony truly didn't have anything to fear, he thought as he left. Loki stood to gain nothing by revealing him to the world. Margret Morris on the other hand, he could not abide. Emily had been on the waiting list for George Williams' Hospital when it burned. It was too easy to imagine her sitting in one of those rooms, immobile, weak and choking on smoke as the fire crept up around her bed because the wiring was cheep and the walls were poorly insulated. Loki smiled to himself as he rode down in the elevator. He didn't often get to feel good about his work. Feeling good never make him money though.

.

Tony woke up to the ring tone of his cell on the nightstand. He rolled over in the large empty bed and flinched away from the colder sheets. His mouth tasted terrible and his head ached slightly. His room was dimly lit by the screen of the obnoxious device, that was invading his peaceful, quiet rest.

"Jarvis, shut it up or answer it!"

"It's Dr. Banner, he has left you fourteen messages in the past hour and a half."

"Great answer the damn thing."

The beep of the call being picked up played through the intercom.

"What?" He said harshly, putting one arm over his eyes and enjoying the renewed peace.

"Tony!" Bruce sounded incredibly relieved. "I've been trying to get through to you all morning."

"I was sleeping."

"Sorry."

"What was so important?"

"It's… well I just heard about Dawson pulling out." Silence fell over the line. Tony frowned into the crook of his elbow. Yeah, he'd heard about Dawson too.

"Tony, I just wanted to… make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine, Big Guy."

"And I wanted to let you know that we'll work out the numbers, it's not like we don't have other backers—"

"It's fine. I had Jarvis run it yesterday."

"I swear Tony we won't cut anything—"

"Just do what you have to do." Tony said, hoping he sounded less defeated than he felt.

"Alright. You sure you're ok?"

"Absolutely."

"I mean I thought you were only going to be in DC for two weeks."

"Stuff happens."

"Someone there with you?"

"What? Now? No."

"No, you know what I mean."

"Anyone ever tell you that you worry like a mother hen."

"No. You would be the first."

"Well you do. I'm fine. Just tired."

"Up late?"

"Party of the century, you can read about it in the tabloids."

"I'll pass, thanks. Get some rest Tony."

"Yep. Don't make any world changing discoveries without me."

"No promises."

"Bye Bruce."

The line went dead.

Tony laid in bed for a long time without moving, eyes shut and pressed into his arm. The news about Dawson had broken yesterday morning and it came as a hard blow. They had been one of the first and most adamant supporters of the Artemis Project. Their support had drawn in over half of the investors that currently backed the venture. Gregor was warning Tony just 24 hours ago that it was more than likely many of those backers would withdraw over the next week in wake of Dawson's decision. There wasn't much Tony could do about that. He took a deep breath and sat up.

"Jarvis, call Penfield."

"Yes sir."

The ringing played over the speakers.

"Penfield Hospice—"

"Yeah, yeah, this is Tony Stark." Tony cut of the young female attendant who answered.

"Mr. Stark, of course. We haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yeah, ummm, how is she?" He fiddled with the edge of the sheet.

"Very good. Would you like to speak with Dr. Harper. I'm sure I can have him—"

"Nope. If nothing's changed what's the point?" Tony discarded the sheet and flexed his hand as if grabbing for something.

"She asked about you recently."

"She did… oh. Hey would you… give her a message for me." He started tapping his leg absent-mindedly.

"Of course. What would you like me to tell her?"

"I—well… you know what, never mind. I—I might come by some time… not soon…I'm, uhh… out of town. But…" Tony licked his lips then bit the bottom one and held it in his teeth.

"I'm sure she'd love to see—" Tony snatched the phone off his desk and hit the end call button. He drew his arm back and flung the thin glass device across the room. It hit the wall with a solid thud and fell onto the dresser with a hollow clacking sound. Tony sat panting and shaking in his bed staring at the new dark spot on the wall. Quickly he flung off the sheets and swung his legs out of the bed. He was about to get up when his eye caught a splash of yellow. He paused and breathed deeply.

On the nightstand was a bottle between the bowl of cold soup, open packet of saltines and empty water glass. It was white, generic brand pain relief but there was a yellow post-it note on the top. Tony snatched the note and bottle, squinting in the low light at the impeccable handwriting.

_If it is past 6 am you may take one. If it is past 10 am you may take two. Do behave until Wednesday. –L _

Tony choked out a short laugh and shook his head. Suddenly Dowson, Bruce, Penfield and his overwhelming need for a drink were shoved to the back of his mind. He chuckled and opened the bottle. He was about to swallow the pills dry when he remembered the glare Loki had given him late last night. So he grabbed the glass and headed for the bathroom.

"Jarvis, call Gregor. Tell him I want a list, any investor he thinks will back out because of Dowson and the personal numbers of the CEO and board members."

"Right away sir."

"And clear my schedule for the afternoon."

"It is already clear."

"Great. We've got work to do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"It's just this week. I can get the money together by next Friday but another…" The woman on the other end of the phone cut off Loki. He gritted his teeth and waited patiently as she repeated herself. He shifted on the old bed and adjusted the ice in the towel pressed against his hand.

"I understand that. Really I do but I've been consistent for the past 18 months…"

"No, no."

"Please just hear me out. She was hospitalized last week and I couldn't…"

"Look it's just a set back. I can get you the money minus and the late fee if you just don't raise…"

Loki pressed the ice harder against his bruised wrist. The phone dug into his ear and shoulder while the woman's voice buzzed on over the poor connection. The garbled high-pitched sounds of the speakers added to the pounding in his head but he reminded himself to stay calm. If he didn't he would say something wrong, he would lose control and the payments would go up, the money wouldn't be enough… He gripped the ice in the towel.

"Yes I can hold." He told the woman. While the bad music played in his ear and his head redoubled its efforts to split open he looked down at his wrist. Holding it up he could make out the fingers of Jonny's newest thug where they had dug deep into his skin. The slight creak of rusty hinges made him look up and he saw Emily peering through the crack of his door where the wood and frame had swollen and no longer fit together.

Her blue eyes met his through the crack and then she disappeared in a flash of pale bald skin and the swish of her pink tutu.

Loki opened his mouth to call after her, tell her everything was all right but the line picked up again.

"Yes… no, I'm her husband Luke Larson... Yes that's the case. If there's anything you can do—"

The new man's voice was bored and low, rumbling in the speakers of the cheep phone.

"I see, Yes…Thank you for your time."

The line went dead against his ear but Loki couldn't move. He lifted his head and let the device fall into his lap, then slide off onto the bed. He took a deep shuddering breath and tried to ignore the nagging doubt in his mind. He tried to tell himself it would be alright. He tried to ignore the empty clenched feeling of his stomach and the ache in his arm where it had been pulled. He tried not to think about the call from the school nurse he'd gotten earlier that day to say Emily was asleep in her office again and the thinly veiled disapproval in her voice.

The toilet flushed in the other room and Loki lifted his head. He heard Emily's pattering feet and then her door slam. He flinched at the loud noise.

Loki forced himself to his feet. He discarded the ice in the kitchen sink as a lost cause and went to look for painkillers in the small tarnished mirror over the bathroom sink. Instead he found Christie. The treasured doll was in the white nurse's dress with grape jelly stains on the back and her head was stuffed down the curved drain of the toilet so her dark legs were nearly straight up and the dress swished around as the bowl refilled with water. Loki groaned and pulled the sad doll out of the toilet revealing the head of scraggly cut hair poking out just a few centimeters from each hole in her plastic head.

Carefully Loki went to the tub and turned on the hot water, washing the Barbie clean as he could and dousing her in disinfectant before washing again. Finally he wrapped her in a towel and slowly approached Emily's door.

He knocked lightly.

A faint murmur responded from behind the wood. He pushed it open slowly and peered into the dim room lit by Emily's pink night light. Emily was curled up in her tutu on the bedspread. Clothes were laid all round her and spilled out across the floor, hers and Christies. Her collection of second hand hats were all in a pile in front of the door at Loki's feet and he picked up a blue one with butterflies as he passed. He cleared a section of the comforter to sit by Emily's head and eased onto the bed. She didn't get up, barely even looked at him, even when he ran a hand over her scalp gently, feeling the heat of her life on his skin.

"Emie min?"

"Mmhmm," She mumbled.

"Why was Christie in the toilet?" He put the doll, still wet, wrapped in a towel beside Emily. With his hands free he lifted her head so he could tug on the blue hat and pulled it down around her ears. Emily fought him weakly and half heartedly.

"Emie? Answer me." He said taking her face between his hands gently and forcing her to face him even if she refused to meet his eyes.

"Christie got cancer and had to cut her hair and now I'm mad at her," The little girl said and her bottom lip trembled. Loki's breath caught as he watched. His own hands started to shake and the world before him blurred. This was what she thought. She thought he was mad at her for something she couldn't control, because her world was full of disease and danger and human bodies were so frail and their lives so fleeting. She thought he was mad at her because the capitalist system was bleeding him dry and working him dead, because there was no place for someone without connections, education, or history. All of their poverty and pain was weighing down her thin shuddering shoulders.

"No, no," Loki lifted his daughter into his lap, held her close and pressed kisses to her forehead. "No, Emie min. No. Cancer doesn't… it's… it's not something you control. It's not fair and it's not… it's not anyone's fault. I'm not mad at you Elskan, never at you." Emily sniffed and sobbed and Loki felt tears on his own cheeks.

"I'm not mad at you either," She whispered, "I love you, daddy."

"And I love you." Loki breathed the words against the fabric of her hat and shook with the silent sobs that wracked his body. He held Emily tightly, feeling her bones digging into his arms and chest. He had failed her, failed to keep the burdens off her back before they crushed her into sobs and tears. He'd failed to provide for her, to keep her healthy enough to fight. He couldn't even make her smile anymore because every time he looked at her he saw everything he needed to do and was failing to do.

"It'll be ok, Daddy," She whispered. "Just like you always say. It'll be ok."

Her words were heavier than Thor's hammer had ever been on his chest, pinning him where he sat. Loki forced himself to take a deep breath and willed his tears away with strength he didn't know he had left. He forced down his sobs and reluctantly let his daughter go, pulling back to look at her while schooling his expression into one of confidence.

"Yes it will," he said. "Now I think it's a little past your bed time."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"I—yes. I guess so."

The corners of her lips pulled up and her lips tightened in a ghost of her once bright and innocent smile. She climbed off to gather her pillow and pull the blanket off her bed, dumping her clothes everywhere. She grabbed Christie still wrapped in her towel. Loki wheeled the oxygen tank behind him as they walked to his room. Over the squeaking of the wheels he heard Emily whisper to her doll, "Don't worry. You'll get better and daddy and I will look after you so you don't have to be scared."

Loki bit his lip and held himself together. He had to because he couldn't let Emily see him broken, he couldn't let her comfort him because she was the one who should be scared, she was the one slowly dying. And there was nothing he could do about it. With all the money in the world he could not save the last person in all realms that mattered to him. And he had failed her.

.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. It was so painfully familiar that be blocked it out. The rush of air in the vents, the smells of chemicals and fake flowers, the gray tan tiles of the floor, the speckled cream walls, were all painfully familiar. Loki sighed and put his head in his hands. His stomach was aching and his head throbbed dully as it had all day. He knew his hair was greasy and his clothes were mismatched and dirty but until a few minutes ago he hadn't cared. Emily was finally in a peaceful sleep. Her oxygen levels were holding steady for the first time that day and she wasn't tense with pain. Looking at her drowning in the large white hospital bed she looked even smaller and frailer than normal.

It had started as just a little coughing that morning. Getting rapidly worse as he tried to coax her into getting dressed for school. Then she'd stopped breathing. Everything afterward was a blur of the car and the ER room the roads and the nurses. He remembered pacing, lots of pacing. There were papers to sign and lies to tell, so many lies and falsified phone conversations all the while wondering if he would say something wrong in haste, make them stop and double check. If they found he had no claim to her, Sharon was dead and he didn't exist, they would take his daughter away. So he paced and he lied and he ran his hand through his hair all day without noticing how much he needed a shower. Now the lights were dim, the city was in twilight before the streetlamps became glaring beacons and the few city stars came out. Emily's monitors kept time and he finally breathed easy.

The door behind Loki slid open.

"Mr. Larson, Dr. Jameson wants to speak to you," A nurse said just loud enough for him to hear. He nodded with what he hoped was a grateful expression for the man's consideration of Emily. Loki pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead before walking out into the brighter hallway. There standing against wall as if he owned the place was Tony Stark. He handed the nurse a twenty before the orderly scampered off.

"Tony," Loki breathed the name as his mind struggled to figure out why the billionaire was there.

"It's Wednesday." Tony said. Loki felt the words like a sledge hammer to the chest. He'd been so wrapped up in Emily he'd forgotten everything else in his life.

"I-I'm—"

"Forget it," Tony waved his hand casually and stood up, walking over to the window that looked into Emily's room. "You look like shit."

"I-I didn't have time to change."

"Don't blame you." Tony shrugged and looked at his own reflection in the glass. He reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a flask. With a furtive glance up and down the hall he took a swig and then offered it to Loki.

"No, I—"

"Need it." Tony said bluntly. Loki took the flask and drank, feeling the burn down his throat to his empty stomach; he didn't dare drink more.

"I talked to the kid's doctor."

"You what?"

"Dr. Jameson, I talked to him." Tony repeated and glanced at Loki's confused and outraged face. "He's an old friend who helped me promote the Artemis Project. I don't know what you know about the project but I think—"

"What are you doing here, Stark?"

"I was getting to that when you interrupted me."

"I understand your interest in keeping an eye on me but Emily—"

"Is dying."

The words that Loki had never dared to say hung in the air like poison gas and Loki refused to breath in.

"No." He said softly.

"I talked to her doctor. Emily's cancer is treatable but it's not a guarantee, it's a sliver of a hope and it's fading, fast!"

"No." Loki shook his head.

"She's weak, Loki. She's too young to fight this off on her own. I can see it, her doctor's can see it, you can—"

"What would you have me do?" Loki snapped. He ground his teeth and he glared. "W-what you want me to just give up, tell her it's over? How long do you think she'd last with that? A week? A month? No, I have lost too much already to give up like that. Pity me, hate me, do as you please Stark, but keep your cold metal heart to yourself." He spat the words into Tony's unflinching face. "I won't give up, not until all hope is truly lost."

"Man up and face the truth, she's not responding, if anything the treatment is killing her faster. Your hope is lost. But what if it wasn't? What if there was an alternative, an experimental treatment that might save her? Maybe. It's untested but _this _isn't working. What I'm offering you just might."

"And what—what are you offering?" Loki asked in confusion.

"The Artemis Project."

.

"Home sweet home." Tony announced as he walked into the large foyer of the three-story LA Mansion, holding his arms wide. Loki walked in behind him with Emily on one hip. She leaned against his shoulder limp, clutching her nearly bald Barbie, but her wide eyes darted around the entrance hall excitedly. Stark's Mansion was modern without being uninviting. The floors were pale wood and the curving walls and staircases were white, offset by the warm lighting and decorations. From the front door they could see all the way through the living room to the back wall made of glass and further out to the private pool. Beyond the pool was a line of white sand and then the ocean stretching out to the horizon.

"Bedrooms are upstairs," Tony said cheerily and bounded for the closest staircase. He stood at the top and looked over the doors on the hallway questioningly then said, "this one!" and pushed through one of the west doors opening it into a blue room. The walls were pale blue and the floor was pale wood but the bedspread and accents were dark navy offset with white. There were French doors to a balcony on one side and a private bathroom on the left. The room itself was impersonal and generic, clearly a guest bedroom.

"No, sorry," Tony amended, stepping back and closing the door, "that's Dad's room." He bounded to the next door and pushed it open. "This is yours!" He said to the girl in Loki's arms as the father and daughter entered behind him. Loki sighed, it was a wonderful room for Emily.

It was the mirror of Loki's with a balcony and a bathroom but where his room was blue, hers was every color of a sunset from dusty pink to deep red. The walls were creamy yellow orange and the curtains around the French doors shifted from purple to pink to orange like a twilight sky. A large double bed dominated the room, overflowing with pillows in warm colors and a pink and orange patterned duve.

"All mine?" Emily asked as she stared open mouthed at the large space.

"Yep, all yours." Loki walked over to the large bed and sat her down. Immediately she giggled and fell back.

"Daddy it's so soft!"

"Little big though," Tony noted as he walked to the balcony and opened the doors to let the ocean breeze in, carrying with it the almost familiar smell of salt mixed with chlorine. "What about bunk beds, I had bunk beds as a kid."

"Could I?" Emily asked and sat up to stare at Tony with shimmering hopeful eyes.

"Sure, what ever you want. You'll need toy's too, Barbie's, Legos, what is it kids play with these days?"

"New Toys?" Emily was literally bouncing with excitement. "Daddy, daddy could I get new clothes for Christie?" She held up the doll currently dressed in an outdated purple tube dress.

"If Mr. Stark says so," Loki told her and she directed her blue eyed pleading on Tony.

"Anything you want," the billionaire repeated. "You'll probably need new clothes too."

"Really? Like from a store?"

"What do you mean of course they come from a store?" Tony saw Loki flinch slightly at his words. Emily explained with her next question.

"New?"

"Tags on them and everything."

"Daddy, daddy, really?"

"Yes, elskan," Loki said and adjusted her hat. "Mr. Stark has offered to take care of us. He's being incredibly generous so there's something you should tell Mr. Stark."

"Yes." She nodded and hugged her doll. Turning to smile at Tony wide and innocent, she said, "Thank you Mr. Stark. You make Daddy very happy and I love new clothes."

"It's no big deal kid," Tony said coming to sit down beside her on the bed. "I'd do anything for my favorite people and you," he poked her nose lightly making her giggle, "are my new favorite person. Ok, maybe second, first might be Bruce."

"What about Daddy?" She asked.

"He's like fifth or sixth or something though I can't really remember who's before him." This made Emily giggle again and Loki roll his eyes. Suddenly giggles became chokes and then coughs.

"Emie," Loki quickly reached out to support her incase she fell. "Do you need the bathroom?"

She shook her head weakly. "Thirsty."

"Ok, let's go get you a drink," Loki said softly and picked her up as if she weighted nothing. Tony hurried to open the door for them.

"I had the housekeepers restock so there's juice, soda, gadorade, what do you want?" Tony asked as he led the way.

His kitchen was large and, unlike the one Loki had rifled through in DC, it was well stocked with every manner of snack food and bottled drink from beer to soda water. Tony helped himself to the former while Loki found apple juice and a pudding cup for Emily. While they were busy in the kitchen the little girl wandered into the large living room where a massive flat screen was mounted high over a fake fireplace on a stone accent wall. She walked up to it and stared lustfully at the clicker on the mantle just out of reach.

"Want to watch TV kid?" Tony asked as he came over and sat on one of the white leather sofas.

"Really?"

"Yeah sure. There's a TV in your room too."

Her mouth dropped open and her blue eyes grew even bigger than before.

"Emily," Loki said as he came over, balancing a plate with the juice and pudding. She quickly snapped her mouth shut and scurried over to her father, climbing up on the couch beside him when he sat down. She grabbed his sleeve and tugged it, whispering in her ear.

"No. Stark, she can not have a television in her room."

"Why not? It's already there."

"She'll spend all day in front of it."

"No she won't. She's my new favorite person; remember? We are going to do lots of fun things."

"Really?" Emily asked between mouthfuls of pudding.

"Of course. You've never been to LA right?"

"No."

"Then there's a lot to see, besides Jarvis is hooked up to everything and he'll be monitoring." Loki was still skeptical but one look at Emily's pouting face had him caving in.

"Alright, alright. You can keep the television but you listen to Jarvis."

"Yes daddy." She said with the utmost innocence and sincerity.

"Drink your juice," Loki said and rolled his eyes.

"Daddy, daddy, did you bring the mermaid movie?"

"I—" Loki paused. They hadn't brought much from their old home. Loki had gone back to the house as soon as he knew Emily would be discharged and packed up all of Emily's clothes and the few toys she had, his small wardrobe and the quilt off his bed. The small collection of VHS tapes had been left behind.

"Jarvis, what movies do we have about mermaids."

"Showing 13 results, sir."

"On screen." The TV snapped to life and showed a series of titles.

"That one!" Emily cried and pointed. "the Ariel one!"

"Disney fan then. Put it on Jarvis," Tony said with a self-satisfied grin. At first glance Loki thought the billionaire was just showing off but then Tony met his gaze and seeing gratitude in the father's eyes, grinned wider. Suddenly Loki was revaluating everything he knew about Tony Stark.

The two men left Emily on the couch to watch her favorite movie and wandered to the kitchen.

"Beer?"

"No, thank you." Loki said as he took a seat at the island where he could keep an eye on Emily.

"Suit yourself." Tony said with a shrug. "Jarvis, get the lab up and running would you."

"Of course sir. May I remind you of the 'foam incident' prior to your departure last—"

"Yeah yeah, I'll clean it up when I get down there." Tony sat next to Loki and finished his drink. He tossed the bottle into the trash and it crashed loudly in the empty bin. Emily jumped and turned around.

"Sorry kid," Tony said with a wave, getting up and heading for the fridge. He returned with another beer.

"Stark," Loki said as he watched Emily spoon pudding into her mouth in small quick bites.

"Again with the Stark, I've told you, Tony is just fine."

"Tony," Loki corrected himself. "I still don't understand. Why do this for us?"

"Look I'm not going to pretend her being in the program doesn't benefit me."

"Yes but I doubt you treat every trial subject to this level of… personal involvement."

"I told you, it's new."

"Stark?"

"She's the only subject." Tony admitted and lowered his head. "We're in the process of getting clinical trials started but they're two years, maybe three from launch."

"Stark, she doesn't have that long." Loki whispered.

"I know. I never said it was legal, I just said it was a chance." Tony looked at Loki squarely. His brown eyes were piercing, searching Loki's face, slow and thorough.

"I truly do not understand you Stark."

"I'm really not all that complicated." Tony grinned and drank his beer.

"Sir, the lab is ready."

"Great. Make yourself at home, Reindeer Games just try not to break anything."

"Stark I have only ever been considerate of your home."

"Tell that to my tower in New York." Tony said over his shoulder as he disappeared down a spiraling staircase into the floor. Loki just smiled and looked over at his daughter, sitting on a plush white carpet in her stained second hand corduroy dress eating pudding and smiling.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Loki woke up slowly falling through layers of peaceful dreams that blended into his half waking reality as the sound of the ocean echoed in his ears. He could hear laughter too, a child's. The woman's daughter was always laughing it seemed. The little girl would run around the house singing half remembered songs and when she forgot the words singing non-sense instead. The old man would sing too in his failing cracking voice. He carried a small radio and it buzzed day in and day out just loud enough for him to hear, the tunes coming through the walls of Loki's room scattered and indistinct like the rays of summer sunlight that flittered through the lace curtains. He could have laid forever in the drowsy heat and let the sound of the waves crash over him.

The sound of the door swinging open on long unused hinges pulled Loki out of his half dream and into waking.

"Daddy?" Emily's voice called in. Loki blinked his eyes open and rolled over to see the little girl in the doorway. She was wearing her favorite pink hat with the flower right over her forehead.

"Emie," He said softly with an unconscious smile. She grinned. Her pink skirt fluttered as she scampered into the room and climbed up his bed to flop down on the dark comforter next to him.

"Morning, Daddy." She cried joyfully and Loki smiled in earnest.

"Good Morning, Elskan," he said then looked up to see Tony amble into the room.

"You too huh," Tony said and pointed to the open balcony door. Loki had opened it before he went to bed just to hear the waves.

"Daddy likes the sound too." Apparently Emily had done the same.

"You're both weird," Tony said and sat down beside Emily on Loki's bed. "Sleep well, Reindeer Games?"

Loki opened his mouth but he couldn't find the words to explain. When was the last time he slept well, before Emily got sick, before Shannon's death, before his banishment, his fall from Asgard, Thor's interrupted inauguration… He couldn't remember, so many years ago. But the waves, the promise of hope, the troubles whisked away, now hundreds of miles behind him had lulled Loki into a near dreamless restful night in Tony's million dollar beds.

"Yes," he finally managed to say, still baffled by the pitiful ineptitude of the explanation.

"I'd hope so, it's half past noon. She's been up since seven and does she ever stop asking questions?" Tony said and tugged on Emily's hat playfully. She giggled and straightened it.

"I don't ask that many questions."

"Jarvis, count please," Tony said.

"Ms. Haywood has asked a total of 76 questions this morning and 103 since her arrival yesterday."

"Thanks, Jarvis." Tony grinned self-satisfied.

"It can do that?" Emily gasped.

"Yes, he can. Jarvis listens to everything that happens in my house."

"Not disturbing at all, Stark," Loki muttered.

"Sarcasm, that's nice," Tony said teasingly, "great thing to teach your kid, no I'm serious."

"Stark," Loki groaned. "What are you even doing in here?"

"Well we were hanging out in the kid's room but the movers are here with her new bed and my room is farther away, besides you need to get up. You'll miss the fashion show."

"What?"

"Emily needs new clothes. This is going to be fun."

"Clearly you've never taken a little girl shopping before."

"Well I wasn't actually proposing that we take her anywhere."

What Tony actually had in mind was to lounge on his couch drinking while Jarvis projected 3D holographic clothing onto Emily while she jumped around in her ballet leotard. Loki had to admit it was far more enjoyable then searching through Good Will for the few things that would both fit and satisfy her unpredictable style choices. Tony didn't seem to mind how picky the little girl was and took every rejected idea as a motivation to find better. Before long the virtual shopping cart was full and Emily was bouncing with joy.

"You next." Tony slapped Loki's knee.

"What? No."

"Yes, get up there," Tony motioned to clear space before the fireplace.

"No."

"Come on."

"Tony."

"Come on, Daddy, it's fun." With a word from Emily Loki relented. He stood before the fireplace and held his arms out.

"Jarvis, scan please."

A holographic grid lit up Loki's t-shirt and sweat pants. He gave Tony an annoyed look but remained still.

"Measurements recorded, sir."

"Alright, give me Rudolf."

"Right away, sir."

Suddenly fuzzy antlers sprouted from Loki's head and a bright red ball appeared on the end of his nose. Loki immediately crossed his eyes to see the red blob and leaned back away from it. The nose followed him, sticking to his own. Tony snickered and Emily burst out laughing.

"Very funny, Stark," Loki said trying to sound exasperated but it was hard when Emily was laughing so happily. He knew truly he would never be able to repay Tony for what he was doing for her.

"Ok, ok." Tony chuckled and the reindeer costume disappeared. "Alright, Jarvis let's see—"

"Sir, Mr. Allen is at the gate."

"What?" Tony sat up quickly, nearly toppling Emily over. "How did he know I was back?"

"I assume he inquired as to the whereabouts of your jet, Sir."

"Smart ass."

"Stark! Not around my daughter."

"It's ok," the little girl whispered loudly, "daddy says bad words too."

"Hypocrite," Tony said to Loki then to Jarvis, "What does Gregor want?"

"He seems to be quite upset about the quarterly budget review."

"Good lord. Fine! Let him in. Sorry Queen Diva, looks like we'll have to cut it short."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Emie. Stark has work to do. Let's find you some lunch."

"Help yourselves," Tony said and waved as Loki led Emily away. He watched them go, the little girl babbling to her father the whole time. Tony sighed. Coming home hadn't been as bad as he'd feared. He'd been all to happy to stay in the cold, corporate penthouse in Washington where there were no memories, where his bed didn't have the lingering ghost of another person and ghosts didn't hide around every corner. Loki and Emily's distraction was welcomed, it put off the inevitable return to their house, and their room and their bed. But in the past 24 hours he'd smiled more than he had in perhaps the last year. For once he didn't wake up and run to his liquor cabinet. Instead Jarvis had woken him to warn him about Emily snooping around on the third floor. It had been too early in the morning for him but not unrewarding.

The girl herself was frail and easily tired out but her mind was alive and astute. She asked questions whenever they came to her, interrupting answers to previous ones but missing nothing. Tony didn't profess to know anything about kids but what he'd expected was a small, self-centered, whinny adult. If he was honest he expected a smaller version of his former self. Instead he got Emily. The first thing she'd told him that morning was not to wake her father because he didn't sleep well. The second was not to tell Loki she'd talked about his nightmares. Even so young Tony could see she was the kind of person to put others first, to be attuned to their needs and their shortcomings and compensate for them without resentment or need of praise. She was so much like… Tony's breath caught in his chest and he swallowed wetly.

"Mr. Stark," Gregor had arrived and he was striding into the living room with his short quick steps and a peeved expression on his face. Tony decided now he needed a real drink, a very strong one.

.

"Hey Loki," Tony said as he came up the stairs from his lab, wiping grease off onto his thighs. Loki looked up from where he was sitting at the kitchen island with the tablet Tony had lent him and a steaming mug.

"Stark…Tony," Loki corrected himself.

"You're really never going to get used to that are you?"

"Maybe one day." Loki said with a sly half smile. Tony ambled over to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

"Tony it's not even noon."

"What? It's my house!" Tony uncapped it.

"So it is." Loki agreed but the disapproval in his voice remained.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked, leaning over Loki's tablet. "Stocks?"

"Yes. Since it seemed a pity to let the money sit in a bank, what little of it is left and seeing as I'm not spending it on living expenses, I might as well do something useful with it."

"Huh," Tony drank his beer. "Make anything?"

"It has been advantageous so far."

"Never figured you for the type."

"Tony, I'm very good at spotting lies." Loki flipped to a web browser and played a news clip for Tony.

"You're saying he's lying?" Tony asked.

"Oh no, the CEO believes every word he's saying, it's the Head of Research," Loki pointed to a man in the background, "who knows it's false."

"And so you're betting against them."

"I've doubled my investment already."

"Huh. Where's the kid?"

"Taking a nap. I should wake her soon. She needs to eat."

"It's about lunch time isn't it? Why don't we order Pizza?"

"Hawaiian."

"What? You like Hawaiian pizza?"

"No Emie does."

"And you're just a slave to her wishes." Tony chuckled as he walked over to the phone on the counter. Loki turned off the tablet and stood up heading for the living room and the stairs.

"This coming from the man who had tea with Emily and Christie yesterday in a flowered apron."

"I'll have you know I wore it with pride."

"And it looked _so good_," Loki grinned at Tony as he back around the corner while Tony grumbled and turned away. Loki turned around still grinned widely and fondly remembering Emily's laughter that afternoon, when he came face to face with an unexpected guest. Loki froze in his tracks for a slit second before his instincts kicked in. He recovered his grin before the new arrival had time to blink.

"Dr. Banner," Loki said with a nod of his head. "Mr. Stark is in the kitchen." And he walked past Bruce without a backward glance or break in stride. He immediately felt sweat on his back and rolling down his temples as he forced himself to keep his pace steady and his breathing even. He made it to the stairs before he had to stop and breath deeply. His only thought was the frail supports between the first floor and the second where Emily was sleeping above Bruce Banner's head.

.

"Yep, one medium Hawaiian and one extra large meat lovers with extra cheese. Thanks man." Tony clicked the end call and turned around. Bruce Banner stood beside the island in his kitchen.

"Bruce! What are you doing here?"

"I—I came to drop off—Who was that?" Bruce pointed over his shoulder and Tony's blood ran cold. He slowly put down the phone.

"A friend."

"It's just—I could have sword that was… Loki."

"Look, Buddy, don't freak out."

"It was. Oh god. Tony, what's going on?"

"Bruce, calm down."

"Calm down? You've got a mass murdering demi-god in your house and…"

"Bruce, please, just back up ok."

"Tony, explain, now!"

"Alright, alright. I met him in DC and…"

"Tony! He get's inside your mind and you just thought…"

"Not anymore… no, no, no. Bruce he's human, totally and completely mortal."

"And that makes him harmless?" Bruce was shaking dangerously.

"Buddy, you can't do that in here! Please!"

A pitter-patter of footsteps on the floor above and then smacking on the stairs made both their heads turn.

"Emie! NO!"

Bruce turned and strode quickly into the living room and Tony ran after him. The doctor came to a sudden stop when he saw the two people in the foyer. Loki crouched and wrapped protectively around Emily who was wide-eyed and confused, hugging her father with her thin arms. Bruce was suddenly very still, hardly even breathing.

"Tony," Loki breathed as his eyes shifted between Bruce and Tony pleading.

Tony glanced at Bruce, still frozen, still as a statue.

"It's alright," He said with false cheer. "Bruce, buddy?"

"I'm fine," Dr. Banner said softly. "Who's she?" His eyes were fixed on Emily's bald scalp.

"Emily," Loki replied, he stood slowly, pushing Emily behind his legs. "My daughter."

"Right," Bruce stepped forward and Loki tensed. "Dr. Bruce Banner, I don't think we were properly introduced." Bruce held out his hand. Loki didn't move. "It's really ok, I've got a lid on it." Bruce's eyes flickered to Emily. She looked back up at him around her father's leg with large, blue eyes.

"Hi there," Bruce said. Loki twitched backward and Emily cowered behind him. Tony walked up behind Bruce, forcing a smile.

"Hey kiddo, what's up?" Tony crouched down to Emily's level, exuding false casualness.

"I heard yelling," she whispered and Loki put a hand on her head.

"It's alright, kid." Tony grinned, "Bruce and I were just telling jokes." Emily clearly didn't believe him.

"Emie," Loki's voice came out surprisingly calm given the look of restrained panic on his face, "where's your hat?"

"U-upstairs."

"Why don't you go get it? You need to keep warm."

"Ok."

"Don't run on the stairs."

"Yes, daddy," She slowly backed away and started climbing with frequent glances over her shoulder down at the three men. When she reached the landing and disappeared Loki turned to Tony with a deadly expression.

"You could have warned me."

"Sorry," Bruce answered for his friend. "I drop by now and then to check up on him. He doesn't usually have guests."

"Yes well, I'm sure I was the last person you expected."

"Not going to lie." Bruce chuckled then asked seriously, "What are you doing here exactly?" Loki continued to glare at Tony.

"I promise I mean this realm no harm. I am as human as Stark now."

"I know."

"You believe me?" Loki nearly gaped.

"No, I can tell. The other guy is useful for some things. You smell a lot less crazy at any rate."

"Wait, what?" Tony asked. "You mean you can seriously smell crazy on people."

"I'm surprised you can stand the reek that must follow Stark around."

"Haha," Tony retorted with exaggerated sarcasm, "always with the wise cracks."

"It's my nature."

"Good to see some things don't change," Bruce muttered. "Doesn't explain what you're doing here, in Tony's house with a child. Is she yours?"

"For the past four years, yes."

"So adopted."

"Emily was there for me when I was cast out. She is my daughter and I would not see her come to harm." There was a threat in his words but more of a promise. Bruce could see it in the way Loki stood ready for a fight. The banished god would throw himself before the beast to keep that little girl safe.

"Ok," Bruce nodded.

"Look, Bruce, I can vouch for him. We've been hanging out for a while and he hasn't tried to kill me yet."

"It's ok, Tony," Bruce held up a hand. "She didn't look too good."

"Emily is… very sick," Loki said softly. "That is why we are here."

"Wait? Emily—that's Emily Haywood?" The last question was for Tony. "Tony you can't seriously be suggesting her for the treatment. It's experimental and just as likely—" Bruce cut off when Loki backhanded his arm. Small footsteps on the stairs made them all turn. Emily was coming down slowly with a wary expression and her pink hat with the sequined flower in the center of her forehead.

"Emie," Loki smiled at her, "did you sleep well?"

"Why are you fighting?" She asked as she got to the bottom and Loki strode over to pick her up.

"We're not fighting, Emie min."

"Yes you were, you were fighting because of me."

"No, no, Emie, not because of you. We're just trying to do what's best for you." Loki held his daughter close and looked over at Stark with a pained expression. Bruce's face was dark and forbidding but the anger was directionless. Tony leaned toward the doctor and whispered so Emily wouldn't hear.

"Yes, it could kill her but she's already dying. Regular treatment is killing her. It's her last shot."

"And what happens to him when she…"

"I don't think we'll have to worry much about him."

"Why? Who's to say he won't go off the deep end and try to wipe out the planet _again_?"

"Because he's tired. Don't you think I should know?" Tony murmured and leaned away ending their conversation. Bruce just watched his friend cross the foyer to the father and daughter with a fake smile.

"Guess what's for lunch?" He said to the little girl. "Your favorite, Hawaiian pizza. Got one just for you."

"A whole one just for me?"

"You bet."

Bruce frowned. It was good to see Tony smiling and living outside of his lab or the Research facilities but he'd read Emily's medical files when they were faxed over two days ago. The girl didn't have much time. The chances of making a recovery so late were slim and shrinking. He didn't know if Tony could handle another lose, if he could loose his family again, watch them slip away until they no longer recognized him. The pizza arrived at the door and Bruce was invited in for lunch. He accepted at Tony's insistence but made sure to keep his distance from Loki and Emily. The longer he stayed though and the more relaxed the former God became. Perhaps it was how his and Tony's antics made Emily laugh. Bruce saw clearly how Loki was a mirror of her joy, happy when she was and pained when she started coughing. Bruce left the Stark mansion with conflicting feelings. On the one hand he was worried for Tony and on the other he couldn't help but want to save the little girl who hugged Tony so tightly.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Tony stood in the doorway of Emily's yellow-orange room lit up by a pink nightlight plugged into the wall beside her bunk bed. The room had been transformed slowly over the past week from an impersonal guest room into the child's personal haven. The white frame bunk bed was fitted out with pink sheets and red-pink comforters. Her toys spilled out of drawers and baskets, some still in their boxes. Christie was in her own bed in the doll house by the balcony doors that were almost always open, filling the room with the smell of salt and pool water drifting up from below. The child's clothes were scattered around the room where ever they fell in her excited frenzy to wear all of them. Every day had become a fashion show of mismatched outfits filled with giggles and laughter. It had become the norm whenever Emily was awake for there to be smiles and jokes. At first Tony thought it was Loki, putting on a strong face for the girl but the longer he was around her the more he came to see that it was Emily who was putting on the strong face and making them laugh. It seemed to be her goal in life to see them happy. So when she went to bed or dazed off in weak dreariness the atmosphere in the mansion became tense. Loki returned to the way he'd been in those Monday meetings. There was a forced blankness to his expression that covered up grief and desperation. He had that expression now.

Loki shuffled over the pink and white carpet picking up clothing scattered around and folding them neatly into piles, tidying the room in a methodical thoughtless way. Every few minutes he would pause by Emily's bed and touch her lightly then return to his tidying until there was nothing left to do but sit by her head and put a hand on her small shoulder, feeling her breathing.

Tony remained leaning against the wall.

"She responded positively," Loki said softly, just loud enough for Tony to hear.

"Yeah. It's just the first treatment. The others will be higher dosages and more…"

"I don't want to know."

"You sure."

"Tony, can you imagine a doctor standing in front of you telling you he's going to pour poison into your daughters lungs?" Loki looked over his shoulder at Tony. "You said this was a chance."

"A slim one."

"That's more than we had before and all I need to know." They were silent for a moment and Loki looked at his daughter, his back to Tony and expression hidden. Silently he got up and wandered out onto the balcony, facing into the salty wind coming in off the ocean. Tony followed him, coming up beside his odd friend at the railing.

"You know," Loki said softly, "if anyone finds out I don't have legal custody you'll go to jail."

Tony shrugged.

"Doesn't that bother you at all, aren't you even a little frightened?"

"Not really, I've been locked up before. Besides, it doesn't seem to bother you."

"I've seen prisons on earth…"

"You mean the cage Fury put you in, that wasn't—"

"No. When I was banished before I met Shannon and Emily. The first people I met were thieves and I was captured with them, thrown in your human jails."

"Where? How long were you there?"

"It's not something I wish to discuss, Stark." Loki gripped the railing and looked out to the ocean. His face was pale and his breathing shallow. Something in the uncomfortably way the former God was standing made Tony pause. With effort he put a lid on his curiosity.

"Fine." Tony said.

"Fine?"

"Yep. You don't want to talk about it. Ok. I won't pry."

"How unlike you, Stark." There was gratitude in Loki's voice.

"Yeah well, don't tempt me."

"I would never," Loki looked back out to the ocean. "It was Emily… Emily is reason I survived." Loki saw Tony jump out of the corner of his eye but didn't turn. He kept talking before he lost the courage to speak. "When Shannon brought me into her home I was weak, half-drowned and half-mad. I came out of that ordeal powerless and alone, cast out by the only family I had ever known and by all worlds I had ever set foot on. I have seen the malice that hides in so-called good-kings and I have seen the darkest lawless places between worlds filled with the suffering and the desperate. I have learned that the only difference between them is that the former is filled with liars and the latter with honest sadists.

"When I first saw Emily I believed all things were corrupt from the moment of birth to either their violent murdered end or slow death rewarded to those ruthless enough to survive. She proved me wrong. She still does, every day." Loki swallowed and his voice became husky, "so do you." Finally he turned to look at Tony and met the man's shimmering intelligent brown eyes. He was surprised not to see pity there, only understanding. Tony looked away toward Emily in her bed.

"I had people like her once," He said softly, "people who made me see the world differently… made me better…"

"What happened to them?" Loki asked, thinking about the big empty house rising up behind him.

"They died," Tony replied, "all of them." Loki didn't bother to say 'I'm sorry' because it would have been hollow and pointless. "Come on, I think we could both use a drink."

"That seems to be your answer for everything, Stark."

"Yeah well, we can't all use world domination as a coping mechanism."

"Very funny." Loki said dryly.

"I thought it was," Tony grinned. "How about a game of chess, we haven't done that in a while."

"And you won't improve without practice."

"Oh I'm totally going to clean the board with you."

"Is that even a phrase?"

"It is now." They two men continued downstairs to distract themselves with alcohol and half-hearted games of words and strategies. Emily was left in her bed sleeping soundly and coughing occasionally, too soft for either of them to hear.

.

Tony ambled down the stairs of the large house and wandered toward the kitchen. The glowing clock on the oven read 2:18 and Tony glared at it. He opened the liquor cabinet and groaned at the cluttering of empty bottles.

"Jarvis, we need more… everything."

"Adding liquor to the grocery list, Sir."

Tony moved to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He sighed and leaned against the counter as he uncapped it and took the first swig. She'd be angry if she saw him, she'd frown and scold. Tony sighed and focused on the flat horizon of the ocean out his window. He didn't always think of her when he drank and her disapproval but tonight he'd woken up and for a moment he'd forgotten. For a blissful moment before his reality crashed down around his ears he heard her breathing beside him and the whisper of sheets as she shifted.

It was easier to have moments like that when he was sleeping in their bed. He'd wake up and it would feel like so many years ago when she'd roll over after his nightmares and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. She was always so patient for so many years while he was plagued with the terrors of his life and his mistakes. But then the illusion was shattered because her side of the bed was cold, her rings weren't on the nightstand, her robe wasn't hanging off the headboard and he was alone.

Tony brought the bottle to his lips again and contemplated a late night booz run. He looked out over the pool and the yard to a dark lump that broke the flat horizon.

"Jarvis."

"Yes, sir."

"Where are Loki and the kid?"

"Ms. Haywood is asleep in her room and Mr. Larson left through the back door at 1:34 AM."

"Thanks. Hey, keep an eye on the kid, send the suit to me if she wakes up."

"Of course, Sir."

"Thanks." Tony pushed off the counter and headed for the back door. The grass was a little wet under his bare feet as he crossed the small lawn to the beginning of the sandy dune that separated his property from the beach. Loki was sitting by the dune with his eyes half lidded, wrapped in the raggedy quilt he'd brought from DC. He didn't move as Tony approached.

"What'cha doin' out here, Reindeer Games?" Tony asked and sat cross-legged on the grass beside the man. The musky smell of the blanket hit him and momentarily overpowered the smell of salt coming off the ocean. Tony took a drink of his beer to escape the stench. Loki said nothing.

"Fine, brood in silence. I'm going to take a wild guess and say you can't sleep." Loki remained quiet and the waves crashed loudly in the silence.

"What are you doing here, Stark?" Loki sounded tired.

"Same, can't sleep."

"But why are you _here_?"

Tony shrugged. They again lapsed into silence and listened to the waves. Tony drank his beer and swirled the last of it watching the condensation on the bottle glinting in the moonlight. Tony remembered something Emily had said to him her first day in California.

"Nightmare?" He asked Loki.

"Emily told you."

"I promised her I wouldn't tell."

Loki was silent and stiff under the blanket.

"She means well," Tony said softly.

"They're nothing."

"Yeah, nothing." Tony nodded. "That's why you're out here wrapped in that thing which quite frankly stinks." Tony saw Loki's jaw tense and his hands fist in the tattered fabric. "Not that I'm one to judge. I used to say the same thing, but when I had nightmares I built metal weapons to wrap around myself. They offer a little more protection even if they smell like grease, which is arguably better than _that_."

Loki closed his eyes then slowly relaxed a little. Finally he spoke:

"It is not my body I fear injury to."

"Wanta' talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok." Tony shrugged and finished his beer. They sat again in silence listening to the waves.

"Well I'm going inside to get another, want one?"

"No, thank you, Stark… Tony." Loki corrected himself. Tony stood up and looked down at the slender man wrapped in the quilt, staring blankly out toward the water.

"Come on, I can't leave you out here alone. You can come hang out in my lab with me."

Loki sighed but he let the blanket fall of his shoulders revealing his bare chest. Slowly he stood and draped the quilt over one arm.

"It still baffles me that you desire my company," Loki said, turning to Tony for the first time. The shift in light caught the deep circles under his eyes and hard lines of his face.

"What can I say," Tony shrugged. "You're not half stupid."

"That, I have come to learn, is quite a compliment since you deem all other's unworthy of your company." Loki paused for a moment then said with a far off expression. "Without Emily or I, your house must get lonely."

"That's what these are for," Tony held up the empty bottle.

"It's an anesthetic not a cure." Tony shivered at the unintentional parallel of Loki's words. "It doesn't suit you." Loki stared at Tony with pale unflinching eyes that made Tony want to scream and cry and cling to Loki and run all at once. For the first time it felt like Loki could see through him and understood him. The bottle slipped from Tony's fingers and maybe it was the buzz in his head that made him do it or the moonlight making the long stretch of pale skin glow from Loki's lips to his waistline. Tony's lips crashed against Loki's roughly at first then caressing firmly with urgency. The quilt slid off Loki's arm and his hands reached out to pull Tony closer. His lips responded slowly, following Tony's lead and opening for the other man's tongue. Tony pulled away suddenly, gasping for air. Loki bent down to press open mouthed kissed along Tony's jaw causing the man in his arms to moan softly.

"How long has it been?" Loki asked and Tony could feel lips just brushing against his throat. Loki bit lightly at his pulse and Tony let his hand trail down Loki's spine. Loki responded by pressing their bodies closer together.

"How long for you?" Tony asked.

"You know the answer to that, Stark," Loki whispered against Tony's throat.

"How long since _you_ wanted it?" Tony amended. He felt Loki freeze in his arms and for a moment it crossed Tony's mind that Loki didn't want this, that he was still expecting to have to preform for some reward. Then Loki's lips were on his, kissing him deeply and hungrily. One hand gripped Tony's hip and the other held his back, pressing them together with surprising strength. Tony moaned against the passionate kiss.

"Inside… now, Anthony," Loki's voice was practically a growl in Tony's ear but still silky and seductive. Tony grinned.

"Say 'please'." He heard the frustration and impatience building in Loki and the tension in the muscles under his hands.

"No," Loki growled. Tony felt Loki's hand slide from his hip to caressing him through the fabric of his pants, stroking and gripping him in a ways that drove him to panting and gasping.

"House… Now…" Tony agreed immediately. They left the blanket and empty bottle on the lawn.

.

Tony lay on his expensive and probably ruined sheets feeling wonderfully sore and exhausted. All the covers had been thrown off into a pile at the end of the bed, one pillow was down by Tony's feet and the other was behind Loki's back. Tony turned his head to look over the lean naked body of the former god sitting beside him, head thrown back as he drank Tony's beer that was probably warm now. Just looking brought back the recent memories of what that body felt like against his and how it moved. Tony's eyes raked over the view then caught on the inside of Loki's wrist where the smooth skin was interrupted by jagged shadows of raised scars. Tony remembered the far off look in Loki's eyes and his tense shoulders that night on Emily's balcony. Like he had then, Tony put a lid on his curiosity. There were parts of his life he didn't share with Loki so it was only fair that Loki keep his own secrets. Tony licked his lips.

"You were right," he said with a grin.

"About what?" Loki put down the beer.

"I did enjoy it."

Loki laughed and smiled. He looked at Tony, eyes flickering over his partner's equally naked body. "I was also wrong."

"How so?"

"I also enjoyed it."

It was Tony's turn to chuckle. "Did you want that?" Tony asked softly, looking pointedly up at the high textured ceiling.

"I would not have if I did not want to," Loki shifted beside him toward the edge of the bed, "I left that life."

"Good." Tony said turned toward Loki. The former God looked over his shoulder to meet Tony's gaze. "Out of curiosity, why?"

"'Why'?"

"Why did you want to sleep with me?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Loki looked disbelieving.

"So this was just one big "thank you" note?"

"Is that why you think I did it?"

"Well… yes."

"Then is that why you kissed me? Is this what you expected?"

"No, I didn't really think. To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't push me away."

Loki turned away. "It wasn't a thank you."

"That's nice to know."

"I—you have been kinder to me than I deserve, you did not give me up when I was little more than your enemy and you've taken us in despite the risks to yourself."

"Sounds like a thank you."

"No, it says something about your character. Stark… Tony, I have never met a more honest man in all the nine realms. A man like that should not have to be lonely." Loki looked over his shoulder at the man lying beside him. Tony was looking away with a guarded expression.

"That's a pretty big complement, especially coming from you."

"Yes it is."

"You know, you're not what I expected. I mean we knew you were smart, you nearly had us beat 6 years ago." Loki turned away quickly but Tony saw his lips twitch at the mention of New York. "I guess I expected more entitlement and selfishness."

"Oh I am plenty selfish. Adopting Emily was a selfish act. I wanted to keep her close and I'm very protective of the things I want. I do not like to see them come to harm and I do not like to share."

"That makes sense." Tony muttered. He pushed himself up off the bed and leaned over to snag the lukewarm beer. "So explain destroying the modern center of civilization of a planet you want to rule?" Tony watched Loki's impassive face carefully.

"New York was strategic."

"Ok explain the logic," Tony said and saw hesitance in Loki's face. "What harm can it do? You failed."

"Did I?" Loki raised an eyebrow and leveled Tony with his piercing blue-green gaze. "I chose New York because it was defended and it would be public. I could have opened the portal in the middle of a desert and amassed my army before moving on multiple targets to neutralize any organized resistance. I could take control of the planet in a matter of weeks and cripple every sizable military before anyone found a way to combat the threat. Humans would still be struggling to accept the existence of my army by the time I won."

"So why not do that?"

"Because then I would be surrounded by a ruthless army with no one to fight and nothing between them and unlimited power but me."

"The tesseract."

"Exactly. If it was going to come to that eventually I would rather there were fewer of them and more humans for them to occupy themselves with fighting."

"So you lead them to New York so we could kill them for you."

"Yes that was the plan. It just worked a little too well."

"How so?"

"Well I ended up in an Asgardian prison and all the nine realms now know that the tesseract is in Odin's vault."

"So I'm confused, did you ever actually intend to rule earth?"

"Yes. Once the Chitauri left with the tesseract I thought I would stay here on earth until they eventually failed in their foolish quest for universal domination. Then when Asgard came to liberate the humans I would slip away, free of both Asgard and the Chitauri."

"Huh," Tony leaned back and drank his beer. "Now I feel like I got played."

"If you are hoping for regret you will be disappointed."

"Hey! A lot of innocent people died that day."

"Yes, that was the point." Loki said looking up at Tony unapologetically. "It was supposed to make you angry, make every nation scared, every woman fearful for her children and every man ready for war. I wanted to turn your entire race against the Chitauri and I succeeded."

"So you're justifying their deaths, saying it was for a greater good?" Tony's eyes were hard and murderous. "You don't feel anything do you? Not for the people who died or the orphans, or the families you tore apart? What if one of those kids who got crushed under falling buildings was your Emily, huh?"

"Then I would do what you did," Loki said softly, "burn every last one of the foul beasts responsible." He looked Tony in the eye and only in the intensity of his gaze did his hell fire rage show itself while the rest of him remained calm. "I would hunt down the animals that slaughtered her and see that they suffered as she suffered. Just as I did the beast that slew my mother." Loki's eyes glittered in the low light and he quivered with tightly controlled rage.

When Loki finally looked away Tony felt suddenly released and breathed out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. For a moment he'd forgotten that Loki was powerless now and the raw anger had terrified him. Loki stood quickly grabbing his clothes from the floor. He strode out of the room without a glance over his shoulder at Tony. The billionaire was left lying on his rumpled bed sheets staring open mouthed at the empty doorway.

.

A few hours later Loki heard a knock on his door.

"Come in Stark." The door creaked slowly inward and Tony leaned on the open frame. Inside Loki sat on the edge of his neat bed half dressed and hands hanging limp between his legs.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Emily doesn't usually knock."

"Oh." Tony wanted to say more but he couldn't find the words. Loki's voice lacked his usual humor. It sounded rough and weak.

"What do you want?"

"I just… I'm sorry, I didn't know about… your mom."

"That is irrelevant." In Loki's usual tone it might have been a snap. Tony swallowed his response and the room fell silent.

"Do you regret it now, sleeping with me?" Loki asked.

"Nope." Tony said honestly.

"That good?" There Tony heard a little of the cocky Loki he was accustomed to.

"No. Don't get me wrong it was good. But that's not why." Tony shifted uncomfortably. "Like I said, I haven't always been like this. I used to put weapons in the hands of some bad people and even if I didn't pull the triggers, there's a lot of innocent blood on my hands as well."

"Thank you, Stark." Loki looked down at his hands again and they fell into tense silence. Tony was about to leave just to escape the heavy air when Loki said, "I'm sorry for how I spoke. It is easy to forget you were never a soldier."

"And you were?"

"I was a prince of Asgard, charged with the protection of the Nine Realms. I was born destined to be soldier and I upheld my duties in many wars."

Tony just looked at Loki, nodding absentmindedly. From what Thor had told them of Asgard it was a militaristic place but since getting to know Loki as human Tony had never thought of him as a fighter. Loki was more inclined to lie, manipulate or scheme than he was to make violent confrontations. Loki jerked him out of his thoughts with a question.

"Is it atonement, is that the reason you fight in your armor?"

"Used to be."

"Why do you do it now?"

"Because I can help. If I have the ability to save just one little girl how could I walk away?" Loki was all too aware of his own little girl sleeping in the next room. He also remembered holding Tony's head over the toilet and wiping the man's sweaty forehead that evening in DC.

"Who is there to save you then when you are in need? Who do you go to for help?"

"Jarvis, he takes care of me." Tony motioned up to the ceiling.

"He is but wires in the walls."

"Hey, don't insult Jarvis, he controls your television."

"And there you go again. You never lie, only redirect."

"Yeah well… there used to be people." Tony looked down at his hands as he spoke.

"How cruel the norns can be." Loki said it more to himself than for Stark's benefit.

"Norns?"

"Deities of fate."

"Huh. So even gods have gods. I don't really believe in fate."

"Then what was our meeting? Chance?"

"I don't know, if you were sleeping with half of the big names in DC and I moved my eastern headquarters there I think it was bound to happen eventually."

"You believe there is always a rational explanation don't you."

"Yep. You don't?"

"That is an understanding all sorcerers come to, that sometimes reality is unpredictable and chaotic."

"You like that don't you."

"Chaos? It is the only truly honest thing in the universe."

"I really don't understand you."

"Like I said, I'm really not that complicated."

"Like me."

"Just like you."

"Huh," Tony had half a grin tugging at his mouth. He shook his head and stood up off the door frame.

"Well we finally got to the fun part." He said casually.

"Yes," Loki said softly then louder but hesitantly, "I'm gad we did." Tony met his eyes and recognized the all to familiar loneliness there. "Good night, Tony."

"Night," Tony said. "See you bright and early. Emily wants to go to the Aquarium." He turned and left hearing Loki's soft sigh behind him. He couldn't help smiling a little as he left.

The smile fell away as he approached their room on the other side of the mansion. It fell completely when he sat down on their rumpled sheets and looked around at the messy room. He gave his own heavy sigh and pulled up the covers from the floor, dragging them over himself before falling asleep spread eagle over the middle of the bed. It still felt too large and too empty. Tony pulled his arms in and rubbed the base of his bare ring finger. Despite everything she'd said and everything that he'd promised it felt wrong. Tony rolled over and slept uneasily until Jarvis woke him for their strange 'family' outing to look at octopi and penguins.

.

The entry was dim and cold when Tony entered the mansion at seven PM, trailing his feet and dragging off his tie. He sighed as the heavy door closed behind him.

"Jarvis," he said. The word echoed through the large rooms and up the stairs with no answer. "Jarv, buddy?" Tony looked around and reached for a switch on the wall. After a moment of fiddling Tony sighed.

"Great! No power. Where the hell are my generators?" He stumbled through to the living room pulling small empty liquor bottles from his pockets and leaving them on the nearest end table. Half way to the stairs down to his lab he remembered hacking up the generators before he left for DC.

"Damn," he muttered. It would take hours to put back into working order and it might take longer for the power to return.

"Jarvis, take note, fix generator… or don't…" Tony groaned again and turned away from the stairs, instead he headed for the kitchen. He kicked off his shoes on the way and fished a crumpled silver wrapped box from his pocket. He threw it on the counter where it clattered and landed ribbon-bow down by the decorative jars of oats and flour. A crystal glass clattered down beside it then a generous helping of scotch which quickly disappeared. Tony poured another glass and fumbled with the lid of the bottle. His hand fumbled the glass as he reached for it a second time and slippery cup tipped, rolling across the counter and slipping golden liquid over the dark granite.

"Fuck that," Tony muttered and grabbed the bottle. He shuffled out of kitchen with it in hand, swaying and glaring around the dark room. He collapsed on the couch and took a swig from his bottle. Gasping he leaned back, bottle cradled in his hands and staring up at the dark ceiling. He reveled in the burning and the numbness of the drink, anything to remove the smells of that place, the disinfectant and the decay. Even the dark was appreciated because it wasn't the over bright halls that looked like a cheep hotel or the false homey atmosphere of the visiting rooms. Tony lifted the bottle again.

"Better fix that generator," He mumbled before he threw his head back and swallowed another gulp. He lingered for a moment more before standing and swaying as he walked toward the stairs. His socked foot caught on the coffee table as he passed. Tony cried out as he fell, pulling his hands up in front of him. The bottle was knocked away, rolling and spinning off the carpet and onto the hard floor with a hollow clatter. Tony thumped onto the carpet painfully.

"Fuckin' shit!" Tony shouted angry curses at the ceiling till he was panting and his lungs were empty. He felt heat on his cheeks and let his head rest against the scratchy fabric of the sofa.

He lay for a moment on his bruised arms moaning. Slowly he lifted his head again and looked around for his missing bottle. Instead he came face to face with a painted wide eyed doll with dark plastic skin and short tufts of black hair sewn into her hollow head. Emily's Christie doll stared back at Tony from under the couch where she'd been lost.

He squinted at the doll trying to figure out how it fit into his house and why he was on the floor staring a this bald doll. He frowned because the only explanation he could come up with was his own life. He remembered lying behind the couch in the living room of his father's home with a rubix cube flipping the colors at random as he listened to his father yelling into the telephone. He remembered being scared, never knowing what the next conversation would bring, gruff disinterest or near violent anger, but above all he dreaded the inevitable disapproval. It was easiest just to hide away and to wait. He couldn't leave like his mother, he couldn't slip away to the party of the week in a chaffered car…. Tony just had to hide and wait in agonizing tension.

Christie stared back at Tony from under the couch as the first tear fell down his face. Tony gasped and scrambled back.

"Oh god, Emily," He whispered. "No, no…" Tony pulled himself up onto the couch. "I can't become him, I can't become him…. I can't…" Tony looked down at the bottle spilling across the floor and his gritted his teeth. "I won't," he said angrily.

Tony jumped up off his couch and strode purposefully to the back door and across the patio. Kneeling down by the pool side he splashed his face with the cold chlorine water. It soaked his shirt and ran over his scalp. Tony gasped and sat back, looking around his dark yard and up at the few early evening stars.

"Oh god, Pep, I'm so glad you don't recognize me because I wouldn't…" Tony shook his head, "you…. You always deserved better than me and better than… this." Tony bowed his head and a harsh sob broke out of his chest. He crumpled over his knees by the pool side and lay on the damp concrete.

.

"Mama mia Mama mia," Emily sang in his high soprano.

"Mama mia Figaro," Loki sang after her as they walked in the front door, her clinging to his back and a pink shopping bag hanging from his arm.

"Magnifico-o-o-o-o!" Emily sang out of tune and burst into laughter. Loki joined in with an unconscious smile on his face.

"Alright! I have to put you down now."

"Nooo," she squealed and held tightly to his neck.

"Ahhck, Emie, you're choking me," Loki exaggerated with gasps and a pained expression. Emily giggled and relented. "Besides, you can't show Tony what you bought if you're hanging onto me."

"Ok!" She let him sit down on the steps and released her hold on him. Loki stood up and took her hand. Then his eyes fell on the broken glass. The small bottles had toppled off the decorative table in the hall and the shards were scattered over the floor where they'd fallen. Loki tightened his grip on Emily's hand.

"Emie min, why don't you go upstairs?" He said softly.

"But Daddy, we were gonna show Tony what we got?" She tugged on his arm weakly.

"Yes, so you should put it on," Loki said quickly and passed her the paper shopping bag. He looked down into her large blue eyes. "I'll go find Tony," he assured her.

Emily frowned and hugged the bag to her chest.

"Is something wrong?" She asked him in a soft voice that mirrored his own.

"I…" Loki paused. He bent down to look Emily in the eyes. He never liked to lie to her but he didn't know how to explain Tony's drinking. He didn't know how to tell her that sometimes the man who was saving her life was unpredictable and even dangerous. So he said, "I don't know."

Emily's bottom lip trembled and her eyes glassed over with tears.

"But what ever is going on," Loki said quickly, rubbing her shoulders, "Daddy will take care of it. You go put on your new clothes and I'll be up in a minute. Ok?"

Emily paused and frowned. Then she nodded slowly and with a light push from her father headed for the stairs. Loki watched her climb with her small awkward steps then disappear at the landing. He sighed before turning and going further into the house.

"Jarvis," Loki asked the AI. "Where is Tony?"

"My cameras place him outside by the pool, Mr. Larson."

"Thank you," Loki said out of reflex though Tony had told him before it was unnecessary. Through the reflected image of the bright living room Loki could see Tony sitting by the pool side on one of the reclining chairs. He was looking up at the sky when Loki pushed the glass door open and didn't look or acknowledge the company. Loki approached cautiously. He was surprised not to see a drink in Tony's hand or around him, not even a discarded bottle. Loki stopped when he could make out the tear tracks down Tony's face and just stood a few feet away from his silent host.

"Hey," Tony whispered hoarsely. He sniffed and wiped his eyes hastily.

"Tony," Loki acknowledged.

"I… I found… under the…" Tony motioned behind him to the glass wall of the house but words failed him and he dropped his head into his hands with a heavy sigh.

Loki sat down next to his friend on the long chair. "Bad day?"

"Yeah."

"Is that why you sent us out shopping this morning?"

"God, Loki, I didn't mean… I couldn't… I can't…"

"It's alright, Stark. It's your home." Silence stretched between them and Loki resisted the urge to fidget. Tony remained still and slumped, a strange shadow of his usual self that Loki didn't understand. It was like their early meetings when Loki couldn't read the eccentric billionaire. Loki licked his lips. "You look terrible. Do you need something?" Loki reached under Tony's chin and lifted his face to look into those brilliant brown eyes. They were ringed with deep circles and lines of stress and grief creased Tony's face. Loki knew what followed an expression like that. "A drink?" he offered.

"No!" Tony snapped and slapped Loki's hand away, pulling away from the other man. "No," he repeated emphatically. "That's just it. I—I don't… I need…" Tony slumped in defeat as the words failed him. Head in his hands again he whispered, barely loud enough for Loki to hear, "I need you to do something for me."

"Tony?" Loki leaned in and his heart sped up in tremors of fear. A warm hand wrapped firmly around his own.

"Get rid of it… all of it." Tony met his eyes, brilliant brown filled with painful conviction.

Loki leaned back and his mouth hung slightly open.

Tony frowned in shame and looked away. "I—I can't… I need you to… so I don't…"

"Alright," Loki replied and squeezed that warm hand back. "Alright." Loki stood slowly and his hand slipped out of Tony's. He paused just a few steps away. "Tony," he said and turned back, "you know this won't be easy."

Tony looked up at him with tear-streaked cheeks, lips pulled tight and eyes filled with his thoughts looking unflinchingly back at Loki. "For Emily?" Tony shook his head. "It's no more than you've done."

Loki felt a small smile pulling at his face that was half pride and half relief. He turned and went back inside. He asked Jarvis to call Emily down from her room. She came bounding in a blur of red velvet and green satin. Loki pointed her outside and she scurried to the back door. The father watched through the window as she came over to Tony and twirled her Christmas dress for him and danced with an invisible partner. Tony smiled and picked her up into his lap. They laughed together as Emily retold her day to Tony with grand hand gestures.

Inside Loki tipped bottle after bottle into the sink until the cabinet was empty. He picked up the broken glass and cleaned up the spilled alcohol. He dried off the silver wrapped box that Tony had discarded on the countertop and looked at it curiously before slipping it into his pocket with the intention of returning it to Tony.

The back door opened and Tony led Emily in by the hand. She bounded behind him, watching her skirts and how the green satin bounced with her every movement.

"Alright now close your eyes," Tony said to the little girl as they stood in the middle of the living room. Loki leaned on the counter to watch from the kitchen as Emily's lids fluttered shut. Tony waved his hand in front of her eyes. He stepped away then turned to her quickly and she jumped.

"Ah! No peeking."

"Ok, ok," She giggled and pulled her red and gold iron man hat, a gift from Tony, over her eyes.

Tony quickly turned and reached under the nearest couch. He smiled at Loki weakly then forced a bigger grin. "You can look now," Tony said holding up the doll he'd retrieved from under the couch. Emily lifted her hat and squealed.

"Christie! You found her, you found her!" She grabbed the doll and hugged her tight against the red velvet. She then latched herself onto Tony's legs.

"Thank you, thank you," She cried and Tony's smile became wide and genuine. He bent down to hug her back while she comforted her plastic friend, promising never to lose the doll again. Loki walked in from the kitchen.

"Thank you, Tony," He said to the man kneeling beside his little girl. Tony just nodded silently with quivering lips.


	8. Chapter 8

The thick envelope sat ominously on the living room coffee table between the tatters and cut ribbons of shimmering red and green wrappings, discarded plastic boxes and dirty breakfast plates smeared with glistening syrup and half eaten bacon slices. The plane white paper and harsh black stamped address, innocuous as it was in reality seemed to glare out from the festive framings. Try as he might Loki's eyes drifted back to the reminder. He adjusted his grip on the cooling cup of coffee and looked out at the ocean deliberately, focusing on the waves as each one rolled in and crashed on the beach.

On the plush carpet at the end of the table, bathed in flickering warm light from the fireplace, Tony and Emily knelt in the contents of a large box. Pieces of wood and a multitude of different sized screws and bolts littered the floor. A weighty and greasy selection of tools crinkled the velvet of Emily's lap.

"Philips," Tony said and held out his hand. The screw driver was passed over after a few scrambling moments. "Next screw… Emily?" Tony looked down from the pieces he was assembling to see the little girl staring over her shoulder, mouth pressed in a frown as she watched her father.

"Em?" Tony whispered and she jumped. "What's wrong kid?" He asked. Emily just looked down at her greasy hands.

"It's ok," Tony said, glancing theatrically at Loki. "It can be our little secret." Emily puckered her lips as she considered his offer. She didn't deliberate long before dumping the tools unceremoniously and crawling into Tony's lap, upsetting his work. Her thin arms wound around his chest and she nuzzled against his shirt. She sniffed a few times, lip caught between her teeth and barely restrained tears pooling on her thin pale lashes.

"I made Daddy mad again," she whispered barely loud enough to be heard above the crackling of the fire.

"You did? How did you do that?" Tony asked in honest confusion. Awkwardly he wrapped his own arms around her shoulders.

"By being sick," she whispered. Tony froze, all the warmth of the fire leaving him suddenly. "Are you angry with me to?"

"No," Tony whispered. "Your dad isn't mad at you either."

"How do you know?" She asked.

"Because he told me."

"Really?"

"Do you think I'd lie to you? You're my favorite person in the world."

"I thought I was your second favorite person," she said with a soft sniffle, raising her head to look at him.

"Well… you moved up a few places. Don't tell Bruce." He winked at her and she gave a weak giggle. "Hey, I know what would cheer your dad up though."

"You do?" She sat up straighter in his arms, eager and willing. Tony had to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

"Just smile for him, ok?"

"Smile?"

"Yeah."

She considered it for a moment, her little hands fisted in his shirt and lips puckered in concentration again. Then she nodded solemnly and crawled out of his lap. Her small shinny black shoes tapped on the floor as she ran to her father.

"Daddy," she tugged on his arm and Loki jerked suddenly out of his daze with a gasp. "Merry Christmas Daddy," She said. From where he was sitting Tony couldn't see her face but he saw Loki's answering smile. It began small then twitched involuntarily further up, easing away troubled lines and troubling shadows.

"Merry Christmas, Emi-min," He replied with a wide genuine smile. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

.

Cafés had changed since the 1930's. They were no longer places of socialization but a sea of screens. It seemed that every one had a laptop on their table, lap or footstool. Seats near power plugs were coveted and headphones were a necessary fashion accessory. Steve looked around the cramped little coffee shop and sighed sadly. No one met his eyes or even glanced at him. He picked up his cup and sipped the coffee distractedly, thinking back to an arguably simpler time in his life.

"Excuse me," a soft voice said at his elbow. Steve turned quickly to see a child, perhaps seven or eight holding a tablet to her chest. "Are you the Captain?" She asked, blue eyes looking up unwaveringly. For some reason he found them unnerving.

"Y-yes," he replied.

"Oh, good," she grinned with a mouth full of slightly crooked child's teeth. She scurried around his table and crawled up into the chair opposite him. The blue backpack on her shoulders made her somewhat awkward and the tablet clattered to the table when she was settled. Tongue poking out from between her lips she adjusted the pink flowered hat she was wearing and checked with blindly fumbling hands that the sequined flower was centered over her forehead.

Steve looked around worriedly for her parents. Perhaps there was a different Captain she was supposed to be meeting but no one in the café stood out as paternal or military.

"Um… kid… are you… here alone?"

"No," She said with a smile. "Tony brought me."

"Tony?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Yes, Spangles," Tony Stark fell into the seat between super soldier and child with all of his effortless arrogance and irritating self-importance. "The kid's with me."

"Really?" Steve glanced at the girl. Nothing from her delicate nose to her mysteriously absent eyebrows looked like Tony. "Yours?"

"What? No!" Tony laughed. Steve looked him up and down apprehensively. His cheeks weren't flushed but his eyes were ringed in dark circles and the lines of his face were deeper than Steve remembered. His clothes were slightly wrinkled as usual but they at least smelled clean which was more than Steve could say about Tony last time they had met.

"What parent," Steve asked, "would trust you with their child?"

"Hold off the judgment, Cap. I've turned over a new leaf and…"

"Tony?" Steve fisted his hand on the table.

"Yes, yes, she's…" Tony trailed off and glanced at the little girl listening intently to their conversation. "Didn't I tell you to put your headphones on?" He asked her. She shook her head vigorously. "No? I said when grown ups are talking you put headphones on… now." Disappointed and reluctant the little girl pulled out headphones and put them over her pink hat. Tony tapped quickly on the tablet and the muffled sounds of the Rolling Stones started coming from the headphones. She quickly pulled the tablet out of Tony's hands to pull up a drawing program and started doodling with her fingers.

"Right," Tony turned back to Steve. "Her father is headed back to Washington." Steve balked. "No, just kidding. Checking to see if she's still listening. Mischievous streak in that one, get's it from her father."

"Tony! This is serious. She's a child."

"What? No! I thought she was just a mentally challenged midget!"

"Tony!"

"It's a joke. I know she's a…"

"Where did she come from?"

"Oh come on, Cap. You really don't want to have that conversation _here._"

"Tony," Steve growled.

"Seriously, tell me you know where babies come from."

"Tony! Are you drunk?"

"No, actually no."

"We're taking her home."

"Well that won't change anything."

"Tony, you take her back to her parents right now. This is not funny."

"No, it's not."

"You're intoxicated and she's…"

"No, I'm not that's the point! Don't you get it?"

"Where are her parents?"

"Wha—you don't believe me. Cap, I'm not drunk. I'm sober, completely sober."

"What?"

"I'm sober, clean, not a drop, in the program." A moment of silence fell over the table. "I have been for three months now," Tony said, hands up in surrender while Steve looked him over incredulously.

"Really?"

"Yes," Tony said emphatic. "What? You think her father is just gonna leave her with me for the day if I wasn't? He doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me with those scrawny arms of his."

"Her father."

"Yeah, that's a long story."

"Where is he now?"

Tony glanced at the little girl fleetingly. "Out shopping, it's Emily's birthday next week. We have a surprise party planned."

"Emily?"

"Yep."

"Tony?" the little girl raised her head from the drawing on her screen. "I don't like this music."

"Wh-what?" He faked injury, "That hurts, that physically hurts. What did I ever do to you? Do you want me to be in pain?"

"No, but… it's… masochistic cacophony."

"You just learned those words from your father. Do you even know what that means?"

"It doesn't sound good?"

"No, but… well, yes.. fine." Tony reached over and took the headphones off her head, nearly dislodging her hat. She scurried to correct it, insuring the sequined flower was again in the center of her forehead.

"It looks great kid," Tony said, patting her head consolingly. Steve just watched with the fledgling signs of approval.

"Hi, Emily, I'm Steve," He said and held out his hand to the little girl. In his large palm her fingers looked very thin and fragile.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Steve."

"Tell me, did your father really leave you with Tony for the day?"

"Yes, I live with Tony."

"You live with him?"

"Me and Daddy. Daddy said that Tony was going to take care of us."

"Why?"

"Because Tony is nice. He helps lot of people with his science because he's super smart."

Steve sat back and looked her over again, the hat, her bare brow and watery blue eyes. It suddenly clicked and he could only turn to Tony, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Tony turned quickly to Emily, digging in his pocket for his wallet.

"How about a latte?" He asked the child.

"With whipped cream?" She asked hopefully.

"What ever you want."

"But daddy said you aren't allowed to give me sugar."

"Well what your dad doesn't know won't hurt him."

"What does that mean?"

"Means it will be our little secret," Tony said with a grin and passed her a small wad of cash.

"Ok," She said, the corners of her mouth twisting up to make dimples on her thin cheeks, a look that could only be described as adorably villainous. She hopped down and scampered off to the cash register. Steve watched her weaving through the crowd of tables and chairs, the top of her pink hat peaking above and between mugs and laptop screens.

"Yes, she's part of the project," Tony said and Steve's attention snapped back to his old friend.

"The Artemis Project? But I heard it was years away from human testing."

"Legally," Tony muttered. "She doesn't have years… she has months… maybe."

"But the project?"

"It was her last shot… and it failed. Her condition is already starting to degrade… it will progress rapidly and then… her organs will fail one by one, starting with her lungs, until she dies." Tony's voice was hard and factual.

"So there's nothing you can do?"

"Nothing but make sure she can spend what time she has with her father… happily."

"I'm sorry," Steve stammered out, unsure what else to say.

"That's what I keep saying but the test results never change," Tony replied with an understanding look and glassy eyes.

"Is there something I can do?"

"No…well not for her. For me… maybe…." Tony trailed off.

"Not like you to beat around the bush." Steve noted.

"Not like me to apologize either. Only person I really ever apologized to was Pepper." Tony quickly cleared his throat. "But I've been a shit friend and not just to you but a lot of people."

"Tony," Steve became suddenly uncomfortable.

"No, I didn't say this to Roody and now I can't and that's my own damn fault. I have to live with that. I have been a shit friend and a worse colleague and… I'm sorry."

Steve had to blink a few times before he could believe his ears and his eyes. But Tony wasn't done.

"I'm sorry about that day I came storming into your apartment. I said some pretty nasty thinks about you and my dad and I don't remember half of it so who knows what else."

Steve remembered that night with painful clarity.

"And I'm sure there are a hundred other times I should apologize for."

"It's alright."

"No it's not alright. It was stupid and I was…"

"Tony, it's alright," Steve cut him off quickly. "I forgive you."

"Y-you do? Cause I wouldn't forgive me, why are you forgiving me so soon? And if it's because of the kid that is not why I brought her here. It just happened to be the day that I was planning to meet you."

"I'm just not you, Tony."

Tony opened his mouth to say something but Emily's scurrying feet distracted him. She set down a towering cup pilled high with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

"What is that?" Tony asked. Emily shrugged and got to work blowing a little hole in the foamy cream.

"That's huge!" Tony exclaimed.

"You didn't say small." She complained.

"You can't drink all that! It's as big as your head!"

"Is not!" She quickly mocked up the size of her head with her hands and slid it forward in the air to measure.

"No, you're cheating.

"Am not!"

"I can see you! You cheat!"

Steve grinned and laughed at the two, bickering like old friends. At the same time his heart was aching because the little girls so full of life, glowing with pride at her little victory was withering. His heart broke because he was helpless and she was smiling anyway.

.

Their laughter was high and echoing in the small rooms with their glass dividers and bare walls. Thor's was deepest but still rang loud enough to hurt Loki's ears. Sif's was highest and a breathless desperate sound of pure joyous hatred. Loki struggled against the white braces, strapped tight around his wrists and ankles. If he could just get free he could show them, there was nothing to laugh at. But the braces held and they laughed on. Heavy footfalls beside his bed sent Loki's heart pounding and Odin's shadow loomed over him, blotting out the white tiles of light in the ceiling. _This sickness must be purged from your mind, _Odin commanded as he pushed the plunger and the needle bit into Loki's arm. Fire erupted in his veins and he thrashed against his bonds till dark bruises ringed his wrists and ankles. _Relax and it will be over soon,_ a soothing voice said in his ear. Loki cried out for his mother but no matter how he turned to look he couldn't see her. All he could see were the eyes staring down at him over white masks. A familiar set stood out, behind the observation glass, watching him with clipboard in hand. They were bright, intelligent and a deep amber brown. _Tony!_ Loki cried out, _Tony!_ But his lover didn't respond, just noted on his clipboard with apathy. Loki screamed to the sky and thrashed until his limbs burned and his strength gave out to the fire in his veins.

His head lolled to the side and he stared without seeing at the nightstand and the neat rows of shells and violets lined up on the edge, just as far as a little hand could push them standing on her tippy-toes. Emily! Loki gasped and stared at the row of small gifts on the white plastic table, next to his white frame bed, the white sheets, white braces holding him down, the tubes snaking up the white walls to the white ceiling. _Emily? Are you here? Are you… real? Did I imagine it? No, no, you were too real… to imperfect… but… no. No, I couldn't have imagined… Tell me I didn't! _Loki begged of Tony but he just noted again on the clipboard, peering at it over his white mask. _Emily? Emily? EMILY?_

Loki jerked awake, gasping for breath and shaking. Beside him Tony stirred.

"Wha…" the man asked in a sleep muddled voice. "Lokster?"

Loki didn't pause to answer but jumped up, bouncing the bed. His bare feet slapped against the hard wood floors as he scurried for the door.

"Loki?" Tony called after him and stumbled to his feet much slower, taking the time to gather their bath robes as he scrambled after the other man. "Loki!" He hissed down the hall as he pursued toward the far end where the soft sounds of Emily's open window were coming from.

Tony slowed when he saw Loki, frozen at the little girl's door, eye pressed to the crack. Tony walked up cautiously, wrapping himself in his own robe as he did. Loki didn't move or acknowledge him until the two men were less than a foot apart.

"She's really there?" Loki asked softly.

"Course," Tony muttered, "Where else would she be?"

"I mean…she's…" Loki swallowed then leaned away from the door shaking his head. With careful deliberate movements he shut the door silently.

"She's what?" Tony asked in a whisper. Loki just took his robe out of Tony's hand and wrapped his naked body quickly, hugging the soft dark fabric close as he padded back toward Tony's room. The other man followed.

Once the door to the hall was firmly shut behind him, Tony rounded on Loki. The taller man was slumped over his knees on the side of the bed, forehead in his hands breathing deeply in a half panicked manner.

"What was that?" Tony asked.

"I'm sorry," Loki replied, his voice tight.

"That one of those nightmares Emily told me about?"

"Y-yes."

"Must be some scary shit."

"The line between fearing insanity and insanity itself is very thin."

"Ok…" Tony trailed off as he scrutinized the man on his bed. "You going to tell me about it one day?"

"Perhaps," Loki said. His fingers were already working the knot at his waist and easing off his robe, baring his pale shoulders again. "But not tonight, Stark." Loki said as he rolled on his side of the bed and dragged the covers up.

"Fair enough," Tony replied. "Sure you don't need me to pinch you?"

Loki gave a soft laugh as Tony joined him in bed. He just shook his head, a small smile pulling at his lips. The deep lines under his eyes remained though. Tony decided he couldn't judge. He probably looked just as bad most days.

.

Tony ran his fingers over the raised lines on Loki's wrist.

"I didn't know God's had scars," He said watching Loki's face. Loki just blinked and his lips slowly came together. His hand slid up Tony's chest to trace the edges of the scar tissue where the arc reactor used to be.

"No," the former god whispered and his eyes lowered, "they don't. Mortals do."

Tony frowned. "I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours." Loki's eyes flicked back up but they were still guarded and hesitant. "I'll even go first," Tony offered.

"I do not wish to talk about it."

"Fine. I'll tell you anyway."

"Stark." Loki looked like he was about to protest so Tony just started talking.

"I haven't always been like this, you know, nice, a hero, whatever. I used to build weapons, really good weapons and sell them to—well I didn't know this but I also didn't care to know—to anyone… bad people, really bad people. So when someone put a price on my head and used my own weapons against me I ended up with a chest full of shrapnel." Loki raised an eyebrow. "Not that big of a deal if you have a hospital near by, but I was in the middle of the Afghan desert. So this guy, Yensen, doctor, fixed me up. Saved my life in more ways than one. He was probably the best man I ever knew, brutally honest too. Anyway he put this electro magnet in my chest to keep the shrapnel from reaching my heart. The blue light was the power source that ran the magnet and my suit, genius bit of tech really."

Loki was silent for a long moment after Tony finished.

"How barbaric," he said finally.

"But effective. Kept me alive for years until I could find a way to get the shrapnel out."

"I see that you did."

"Yeah. Hey, does this mean you can mind control me now? I mean if you weren't…"

"Perhaps, I do not claim to completely understand the stone and it's powers. No one, not even Odin, does."

"Huh." Tony shrugged then made a waving motion with his hand as if to shoo away the thoughts. He promptly snuggled closer to Loki and released the scarred wrist.

"Is that all?"

"All what?"

"No demands that I fulfill my end of the deal?"

"You never agreed to that deal."

"You are trying to guilt me into agreeing."

"No. I just thought you might like to know. Now you do." Tony leaned his head against Loki's chest and fell silent.

"Where is the doctor now? He seems to have been someone… special to you."

"He died. Gave his life so I could escape. I couldn't save him." Tony said, clipped and short. His eyes darted around the room unfocused.

They were silent again. Tony listened intently to Loki's heart and breathing, trying not to relive that last day in the cave, the terror and the adrenaline of his escape. He was so lost in the smell of gasoline, iron and stale sweat that Loki's next words made him jump.

"It was a plastic pen."

"What?"

"The scars, on my wrists, it was a plastic pen. I think he must have left it there on purpose."

"Who?"

"I couldn't tell you a name, there were so many names in that place, they all blend together in my memory. When I said I was imprisoned here on earth I didn't say where. At first it was a smaller facility, temporary. Then they sent me to a… hospital of some kind. They all seemed to think I was… mentally deranged. In hindsight I don't blame them after my repeated instance and demands… but someone… someone in that facility must have believed me because they made my mind a living hell. When I refused the drugs they were forced on me, when I was violent I was sedated and restrained, and no one believed a word I said. Physical pain I can deal with, even in this human form, but to have my own mind turned against me. Every shadow became my enemy. Every night I faced the darkest fears I dared not whisper of alone. All that I have lost haunted me, every guilt and mistake for how long… I do not know. My fall from the bifrost into the lifeless Void between the branches of Yggdarsil seems shorter in my mind. And he… my captor, tormentor, left me with a chance, my only chance at escape." Loki lay very still beside Tony, eyes downcast. "It didn't work. He knew it wouldn't."

"They put you in an asylum?"

"It is not so hard to believe, they thought me delusional when I insisted I was Loki of Asguard."

"Not your smartest move."

"No," Loki laughed humorlessly, "no it wasn't."

"How'd you get out?"

"It was rather unintentional. I sought escape in any way so when given the chance I tried to overdose. They moved me to a less guarded facility and from there I escaped out a window. I was not in my right mind and stowed away on a boat. The boat took me out to sea. Of course when I was found, it was… chaotic. I fell overboard and washed up on the beach many miles away. That's where Shannon found me."

"And she took you in?"

"She thought I was a drug addict, that I had intentionally injected myself with those vial chemicals for… pleasure." The word twisted in Loki's mouth around his disgust.

"Wow, brave woman."

"Compassionate foolish woman. She herself was a recovering addict. It was part of the reason she left Emily's father. His… habits were not something she wanted her daughter exposed to."

"I wish I'd met her."

"You would think her stupid. She was truly simple minded."

Tony looked at Loki with thinly veiled disapproval. "She sounds like a strong woman to me."

Loki paused and took a deep breath then almost guiltily admitted, "yes, she was."

"I like strong personalities."

"Really Stark next to you almost everyone seems small," Loki said halfway between sarcasm and honesty.

"Well not you."

"In the grand scheme of things I am very small, Anthony. You will advance your entire species years into the future. I am but a lost Prince with nothing to his name but the love of a little girl."

"Hey! I think you sell yourself short. Earth won't quickly forget you. Thor certainly won't."

"Tony, I have asked that you not speak of—"

"Blood or not he damn well thinks you're his brother."

"We are _not_ discussing this."

"Can you honestly say you don't have some feelings toward him, good? Bad? Murderous? Romantic?" Tony scrutinized Loki's practiced blank expression. "Come on give me something."

"Good Night, Stark."

"Fine! I give up. I just think it's a little hard on Point-break. He was torn up over your death."

"Then he will only be that much more vexed to find me alive." Loki snapped back petulantly.

They lay in silence for a long moment.

"Regardless of my feelings for Thor, it would be cruel." Loki said with cold rationality, "What is years or months to you is like days for him. As quickly as his grief might fade it will return shortly when my mortal body withers and dies. That grief will return all the more raw and painful."

Tony rolled over to look into Loki's bright green eyes. His, brilliant and deep hazel brown were glassy with restrained tears and his lips quivered with anger as he spoke.

"I would give up all the money in the world for another hour with Yensin… with Roody... my parents… my wife. If you could extend Emily's life… how much would you give up?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Some people don't get that chance. Your brother does." Tony rolled over and with a harsh jerk pulled the duvet over his shoulder till all that Loki could see was the tousled gray streaked hair poking over the top edge.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note:So because I'm scatterbrained and disorganized I uploaded this chapter as 10 at first but it's not. The old chapter 9 is now chapter 11 and the next chapter is **NEW!** Yay! Hope you enjoy and hehe yes Pepper we finally get to hear about Pepper! (a little) Review, Fave, throw rotten tomatoes at your monitor or something... -Ember

* * *

Chapter 9

.

Bruce didn't keep much, Loki noticed, walking into the office that the doctor had reportedly kept "temporarily" for the last four years. There was still a printed, paper tag on the door instead of the fancy engraved plaque given to long time employees. Inside it looked as temporary as the title suggested. All the furniture was generic and outdated. The walls were bare and the desk was organized into a controlled chaos of files and reports. The few personal items were arranged on the small corner table by the single comfortable chair in the room, under the large window. There was a chipped, painted elephant, a round lacquer box and a picture frame with a single photo.

Loki recognized the setting of the photo immediately as the same table he had eaten breakfast at hours ago. Around it were an assortment of people, some that Loki recognized and others that he did not. Tony was featured in the middle, unsurprisingly with Bruce at his left. An African American man stood behind them with a stern expression. Steve Rogers, the famed Captain America, was casually reclining in the foreground, looking over his shoulder at the camera, the unmistakable Black Widow sandwiched between him and Hawkeye, the latter of whom was facing away from the camera. Loki wondered for a moment at what his expression might be. A few other figures were caught partially in the picture as were the decorations strewn across the large windows in the background. The most interesting part of the photo though was the woman. She was sitting beside Tony, one of his arms thrown over her shoulders. Her strawberry blond hair fell in graceful waves around her pleasing smile and she was looking at Tony sideways. What caught Loki's eye was the familiar ring adorning her finger.

The door behind Loki opened and he jumped up from where he was stooped, inspecting the picture.

"Loki," Bruce Banner said cordially, pausing in his own doorway as if he had interrupted his boss.

"Doctor, I have the results of the lab work Tony ran for you."

"Oh right," Bruce nodded and accepted a thin manila file from under Loki's arm. "Thanks for bringing that down."

"I realize it would have been easier just to email it but…"

"No, I understand. I spent my fair share of time in hiding. Better to keep as few copies as possible." Bruce said as he shuffled around his desk and started clearing a space fore the new file. "I'll get straight to work adjusting the dosage."

"Thank you," Loki said, finding it a more honest statement then he had intended.

"Of course," Bruce said, looking over the top of his glasses at his guest.

"Ill leave you to it then," Loki said awkwardly and turned toward the door with one last furtive glance at the picture.

"It was Tony's house warming party."

"Excuse me," Loki turned around at the sound of the doctor's voice.

"That picture, it was taken at Tony's house warming about six years ago."

"I see." Loki paused and considered his next question carefully. "I don't recognize everyone there. Who is the woman, the red head?"

"I assume you don't mean Natasha."

"No, the Black Widow and I are well acquainted," Loki said with a note of his old cocky attitude.

"I know. I saw the footage. Looking back it's rather entertaining."

"You'll have to forgive me for disagreeing." Loki replied, more serious and solemn.

"I wouldn't say it was one my better days either."

Loki glanced at Bruce and had to smile. Of all the places to find compassion and understanding he didn't expect it would be in the beast that had brought him down all those years ago.

"Tony hasn't told you about her?" Bruce asked, his eyes shifting to the picture across the room. "I thought he would have… given that you are…" Bruce trailed off.

"Fucking?" Loki supplied.

"I was going to say intimate," Bruce replied, cheeks tinged with red.

"Only physically," Loki explained.

"I see… well that's some kind of improvement."

"You approve?" Loki raised a dubious eyebrow.

"Approve might be a strong word. I'm just glad he's not alone in that house anymore."

Loki paused his eyes lingering on Tony's face frozen in a long gone time behind glass. There was an easy happiness to his expression that was unfamiliar. "I don't think either of us is quite whole enough for real intimacy," he said.

"Regardless you've helped him."

Loki's eyes flicked quickly to the doctor's but Bruce was studying Emily's file, one hand rubbing his forehead nervously. He didn't look up before speaking again.

"Her name is Pepper. She and Tony were married a month before that picture was taken."

"Where is she now?"

"Gone."

"I see." Loki let it drop, deciding not to push further. Bruce didn't address her in the past tense but she was out of the picture. Curiosity ate at Loki and he forcefully stilled his tongue. Tony had been kind enough not to pry into his life. Loki fought to pay the same respect to his friend… lover… partner… Loki realized he suddenly didn't know what to call Tony. Stark seemed too impersonal. Tony seemed too familiar. But Anthony was too formal. Loki turned and left Bruce's office still contemplating his untitled relationship.

.

"Do you think it's true?" Natasha asked as she watched the wrought iron gates of multimillion dollar homes flash by out of the passenger window. Clint only grunted ambiguously from the drivers seat.

"You still think Steve is too naive." She stated it, not needing to ask.

"There's no tolerance for it in what we do."

"Steve knows him better than we do."

"Better than I do maybe. You spent a month observing him before the Cap was even defrosted."

"Stark never trusted me."

"And he trusts Rogers?" Clint glanced fleetingly from the road to shoot Natasha a doubtful glance. "No, I think there was only one person who really knew Stark. He's lucky she was the one person who could stand to be around him."

"Maybe," Natasha said thoughtfully. She watched Clint as they wound further down the Pacific Coast toward the secluded bay where Tony and Pepper had built their family home. He was frowning again, pulling the creases of his face into harsh dark lines. The signs of a hard life were written all across his face and in the lighter streaks of his hair. Unlike Natasha the years were catching up with him quickly. She remained unchanged, still young and beautiful on the outside even if she felt as world weary inside as he looked.

The modern asymmetric gates outside the holly lined acres of front yard finally rolled up. Calafia Manor was engraved in the gates in sweeping letters.

"You think he has updated his security permissions?" Clint asked as they pulled up. The gates slid open of their own accord, folding away.

"Or he just knows we're here." Natasha said, watching the hidden camera on the gate post.

"If he doesn't, he will soon enough," Clint agreed with a note of apprehension in his voice. His hands were loose on the steering wheel as he drove up the long driveway with a snipers practiced calm. Natasha wasn't fooled for a moment. She could feel every mussel in her legs and arms strung tight. It had been more than a year since they last saw Tony.

The door to the mansion was unlocked.

The footsteps of the two agents echoed in the high ceilinged foyer. The sound of waves followed them into the house where the smell of fresh salty air was mixed with the savory smell of cooking bacon. The soft sound of sizzling came from the kitchen along with a carefree whistle that cut off abruptly.

Natasha and Clint shared looks. They made their way toward the kitchen at the back of the house.

"Is that you Tony?" A voice came around the corner. It struck a familiar cord with Natasha but she couldn't place it immediately. Instinctively she reached for her holstered pistol. Clint faltered in front of her, sending her nerves humming to a new level. He leapt forward around the corner suddenly. Natasha caught his expression of angry horror for a half second before she was rounding the corner as well.

The face across the counter took her breath away. There was only a moment to draw breath before the heavy kitchen knife was out of her enemy's hands and spinning through the air. Her arms reacted without thought.

Ba-Clang!

A bullet connected with the heavy blade with a sharp snap and the hard crack of the gun.

Bang!

A second shot from Clint's pistol spilt the heavy air of the kitchen and a spray of blood misted the counters. The enemy gave a short strangled cry before ducking, half falling behind the main island.

Clint wasted no time rounding the island, his gun still raised and his expression hard and cold.

The man who should not have been there was half propped against the counters and scurried back with clumsy legs, one hand pressed over his abdomen. Clint felt his heart pounding. Not again, was all that ran through his head, I will _not_ be a slave again! He raised his gun.

"No, please!" That all too familiar voice cried out and the injured man threw his hand up, blood dripping in red weeping rivers over the creases of his palms and streaming down his shirt onto the white tiles. It was wrong, Clint realized in the half second before his finger depressed the trigger and it gave him a moment of pause.

Pssskuusss! Bang!

The hand repulsor of the Iron Man fired with a blinding flash. The white-hot force hit Clint just as the gun went off with a resounding crack that echoed off the hard counter tops. The wood cabinets beside Loki's head splintered as the bullet narrowly missed.

Clint rolled and tumbled toward the living room, sliding to a stop on the wood floor. The pistol was knocked from his hand and clattered a few times across the floor sliding out of his reach. The archer groaned loudly where he landed.

Natasha's boots pounded as she leapt over her fallen partner, double pistols trained on the Iron Man standing a parallel guard over the bleeding Loki.

A door creaked.

"Emily," Loki's voice was little more than a ragged whisper and his eyes wild.

Natasha turned and one pistol followed her line of sight. Clint moved with her raising from the ground to protect her back, his hold out raised, pointing down the hall toward the front of the house and the bathroom door swinging open.

"NO!" Loki scrambled to rise, his legs shaking and failing.

Bang!

Emily's piercing scream filled the house, cutting off into breathless gasping. The Iron Man suit rocketed off the floor, diving over the bar counter top, imposing itself between the frozen agents and the child.

Natasha's chest heaved with panicked breaths. Clint dropped his weapon as if it were burning him and reeled backward onto the floor again. His mouth worked soundlessly for a long moment as the child's rasping breaths got softer and shorter with each passing second.

"Emily, it's ok," Tony's voice through the suit's speakers filled the room. "It's ok, just breath, just take deep breaths, slow deep breaths. It's all ok, just breath. Please kid just breath, breath!"

"Emily," Loki's voice was breathless with pain and his steps were uneven, limping and unsteady as he rounded the island, hand over his oozing wound, the blood seeping from between his fingers and rolling down his pants, making pitter patter drops that seemed to reverberate in the stillness. He didn't even glance at the two agents as he stumbled past.

Falling to his knees at Iron Man's side he reached out with red stained hands for the little girl's hand.

"Shhh, shhh," he whispered, "I'm here. I promised, remember?" His voice wavered with pain but his gaze was steady on his daughter's wide darting eyes. "Shhh, breath like the waves, in and out, in and out, in and out…" with every repetition his words were slower and softer. The red droplets counted out a steady beat as they hit the floor. Drip, drip, drip.

And her breathing slowed with his, still shallow but slower and her eyes were steady on him, her lids growing heavy and her arms limp in Iron Man's firm metal grip.

Clint, staring wide-eyed at the father and daughter, made a noise suddenly as if he'd been stabbed. He gagged and turned away before heaving on the carpet. Natasha stood over him, her gaze darting between her partner and the strange family, wanting to help her partner even though she was unsure how but unable to give up her defensive post even though she wasn't sure where the danger was coming from.

The front door slammed open.

Tony Stark swept in, livid. Behind him with subdued rush came Bruce Banner with a large medical bag.

"Don't move," He growled at Natasha before kneeling beside his metal alter ego and former enemy.

"Shit," He hissed, eyes raking over the blood trail and wet stain spreading across Loki's abdomen, "You holding together Lokster?"

"Emily," was the only word that the former god could push past his lips.

"Get her tank," Tony told his suit and the hollow metal figure jumped to his command. Natasha hurried to step out of its way.

Bruce knelt down beside Loki and immediately started pulling out supplies.

"Emily," the father said again, pleading this time to Bruce.

"You first," the doctor said firmly. He hurriedly applied gauze and pressure to the wound. It took very little to push Loki onto his back even though he resisted. "Damn that's a lot of blood. Stay with me, ok Loki. Hey!" Bruce snapped at his patient and Loki's eyes snapped back open. "Shit!" Bruce hissed the curse. "Tell me you have a stash of blood somewhere?"

"I don't even know his blood type! Hell I don't know if banished Gods _have_ blood types." Tony shot back, his face panicked. His hands flitted over Emily in his helplessness. The suit returned, it's loud steps nearly deafening, carrying the portable oxygen tank. Tony quickly unwound the cord to hitch it under Emily's nose, cradling the child in his arms. Bruce worked calmly with a deep frown. Over his shoulder Natasha was inching closer. She didn't need more than a cursory glance to see the extent of the damage.

Tony saw Bruce swallow thickly and he held Emily closer to his chest instinctively, hugging her thin shivering shoulders.

"D-daddy?" her voice rasped and her questioning eyes begged Tony for answers.

"Give me the IV," Clint said, suddenly right behind Bruce, his hand stretched out demandingly.

"What?" Bruce scowled.

"He's going to die without a transfusion."

"We don't—" Bruce glanced at Emily's wide intelligent blue eyes filling with water, "we don't have any blood to…"

"Mine, you have mine!" Clint snapped.

"He's O negative," Natasha supplied, "universal donor." Bruce snapped his head between the two of them caught in his own indecisions.

"That's not all there is to it," he stammered.

"There's no other option," Clint growled. The doctor hesitated for only a second more before his hands became a blur of frenzied motion, unwinding tubes and arming needles with methodical and practiced precision. His face remained in calm focus even as the red oozing liquid began to flow down the clear tube. Tony held his breath. Clint just stared at the needle in his arm, seemingly at a loss for words. He glanced momentarily at Loki but then quickly toward Emily. His eyes shut quickly as if blocking out a horrifying sight and he looked away again at his own hands.

Natasha stood over the whole blood soaked affair a frown on her small mouth and a muscle twitching in her jaw.

.

Loki was finally moved upstairs to his own bed. His bloody clothes were cut away, his wound bandaged and stitched, and Emily placed a light kiss on his sweat soaked brow. Bruce took up a vigil by his patient's bed with solemnity. Tony reluctantly carried Emily downstairs, wheeling the tank behind him.

Clint was sitting against the wall with a glass of water looking pale. Natasha stood over him like a protective red shadow. Tony stopped at the bottom of the stairs and stood with the puddle of Loki's drying blood on the hardwood floor between the two pairs.

"You all right hawk man?" Tony asked, his voice sharp.

"I don't have a bullet in my gut," he replied even though he looked no better than his victim upstairs. The stench of vomit had filled the air and mixed with the smell of burnt bacon, gun smoke and antiseptics.

"Good," Tony snapped and marched past his unwelcome guests out the back door toward the pool. He passed it, wheeling the oxygen tank behind him over the grass and down to the sandy beach. Clint and Natasha followed, his arm over her shoulder.

Tony finally stopped when he was close enough to feel the spray off the incoming waves but out of their reach. He sat with Emily bundled in his arms.

The two agents slowly caught up and Natasha let Clint down to sit in the damp sand. For a long moment the group was quiet but for the waves crashing all around them. With each cascading roll of falling water Emily's eyes drooped lower and lower. She was nodding off when Clint finally spoke.

"You want to explain this?"

"You want to explain what you're doing shooting at people… at children in my house?" Tony shot back.

"What is Loki doing in your house?" Natasha asked.

"He lives there! He and Emily live there, with me. It's my house, I can invite over who ever I fucking want and I don't remember inviting you!"

"I seem to remember being given an open invitation," Natasha countered.

"Yeah well that was before… before a lot of things."

"Before you dropped off the face of the planet into a bottle."

"Yeah before that!" Tony shot back. "Then you show up and shoot the one good thing that's happened to me in the last four years!"

"How is Loki a good thing?"

"You wouldn't fucking know because you shoot first and ask questions later! Because people are just meat-sacks with expiration dates to you! How could you have even the slightest clue what's been going on in my—"

"It was me," Clint finally spoke, cutting Tony off.

"What?"

"Leave Tasha alone. I shot Loki and I shot at the little girl."

"Well nice going. Feel better now?" Tony growled and Emily stirred in his arms.

Clint just looked out across the water with heavy eyes and a green tinge to his skin.

"You of all people, of all people, should understand. You've been there, when the world just seems like… like shit! When you think there's nothing worth saving in it... well that's where he was and he found Emily. You have no idea, _no_ idea what he would give—has given for her." Tony shook his head and whispered, "What he's given me…" letting the statement hang in the air.

"Steve was telling the truth," Clint said, scrutinizing Tony, "you're clean."

"Yeah," Tony said with a soft short sniff. "That's for her," Tony looked down at the little girl wrapped in his arm and the clear tubing making dimples on her face.

"She's sick… really sick. Lung cancer, she was diagnosed three years ago," He explained. "Chemo wasn't working… I thought… I had hoped that…"

"The Artemis Project," Clint supplied and Tony just nodded. "She's the first patient that Bruce told us about. He… said she doesn't have long."

Tony just nodded silently again, his eyes shimmering and focused down at the sleeping child resting against his shoulder. The oxygen tank stood sentinel over them in the sand.

"She deserved to have her father for what time she has left," Tony whispered. He didn't look up to see the effect his words had on Clint. Natasha saw. Her partner paled worse and swallowed thickly, his usually calm hands shook like she had seen only once before. She knew what he was seeing. He was watching some one else live out the worst day of his own life, and Clint had to relive it himself in the process.

.

Loki woke up to voices murmuring just quiet enough to be unintelligible. Their words flowed together rising and falling. One deeper and the other slower, exhausted sounding. A door closed and Loki's eyes fluttered open, looking up at the burry ceiling and the warm light thrown across it. A shadow passed over the light then the clattering of the French doors to the balcony. The far off sounds of the waves floated in with the smells of chlorine and salt.

Loki swallowed, finding his mouth dry and filled with a metallic taste. Medicine, he concluded. His stomach flipped uncomfortably at the thought and he shifted finding his body stiff and aching dully. The covers tangled around his wrists and weighted down his heavy legs like restraints. Heart speeding up to a clip and his breath coming in quick gasps he fumbled to sit up and look around. His wide eyes fell on the snaking clear tube and needle imbedded in the back of his hand. Wrenching his other hand free, he grabbed for the IV.

"Whoah!" Tony's large hands quickly encased the needle and Loki's palm. "It's alright, just a little morphine."

Loki looked up at the other man in uncomprehending panic, his eyes wide and his rapid breathing shallow.

"Just for the pain, you were shot remember?" Tony spoke softly, eyes never leaving Loki's.

"Shot?" The memories came back in a trickle that quickly became a downpour. _"Emily!"_

"Shhhh," Tony urged him and pointed over his shoulder. There on top of the covers with Christie under one arm and her pink hat askew was the little girl. Loki laid back, staring across the blankets to his little girl, watching her lips tremble with every breath and her eyes dancing behind her eyelids.

Tony gingerly released Loki's hand, satisfied that Emily had calmed his lover down enough. He understood that the girl was Loki's lifeline to reality just as Pepper had been for Tony after Afghanistan, after New York… and worse times.

"Is she alright?" Loki asked softly, shaking Tony out of his melancholy thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, she's stronger than she looks."

Loki laughed a little at that. "I know she is," he replied. "There are Gods and Demons with less strength in their entire being than she possesses in her little heart."

"And she loves you. She insisted on staying right there until you get better."

Loki chuckled again. "Am I alright?" He asked next.

"Bruce patched you up… and, well… "

"What?" Loki turned his unwavering stare to Tony, demanding answers.

"Umm… well, we didn't have any blood just lying around so…"

"We are not the same blood type." Loki stated.

"No. But Clint is…"

"Oh." Loki cut Tony off.

"Y-you know what blood type he is?"

"That is one of the… side effects of the Mind Gem. When I took control of his mind the connection was two way, I forced part of my mind into his and so part of his mind flowed back into me. Happy moments, tragedies, the things he loves, hates, the things he takes pride in."

"And his blood type was somewhere in that mess?" Tony questioned.

"I believe the way he sees it," Loki said thoughtfully, "His blood type is contrary to his nature. Where all his life he has hurt others, his body naturally has the ability to help and heal them."

"Huh," Tony shook his head, "I didn't think Hawkman really thought that hard about anything other than food."

Loki returned a soft smile and said half to himself, "you would be surprised."

"Why have you not told me this before?" Tony asked.

"I did not see the reason. What I saw by accident is not mine to share. I have already used that knowledge to hurt one of your comrades intentionally. I would not want to do so again," Loki said, turning back to Emily to hide his face. "They are also… friends of yours after all."

"We're friends then?" Tony asked.

"I believe we are intimate enough," Loki replied.

"Good."

"Good? There was a time when you would have been sickened by the notion."

"Things change, _people_ change."

"I do not know if I can believe that. Some people maybe… but not all."

"And some people would put you in the latter category."

"Would they be wrong?"

"Well we're friends now."

"Again your approximations of logic baffle me," Loki replied, trailing off as his words became a yawn.

"You need to rest. Human body, human healing. It takes time."

"This is not the first time I have been shot, believe it or not," Loki grumbled as Tony pulled up the covers around him. His eyelids were already drooping and fluttering shut. Tony breathed a sigh of relief, the last of the days tension leaving him as he sat back in Bruce's chair. He had seen the bullet scar on Loki's shoulder, knife scars and the jagged puckered flesh of his wrists marred by a broken plastic pen digging for the veins underneath. He thought about his own scars from tussles and crashes over the years. And Emily's, needle marks and surgery scars on her little chest, pulled taunt as she grew into them. They made quite a family, the three of them. Tony leaned back in his chair and settled into his vigil while the IV dripped and the oxygen tank whined ever so softly, like a long low last breath.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: **REORDER!** So yes. This is the new chapter! YAY! More Clint and Natasha... and Loki goes snooping! Can't he just can't help himself. -Ember

* * *

Chapter 10

.

Tony jerked awake at the knocking sound. He sat bold upright in the padded chair and looked around disoriented for a moment. He sighed when he saw Emily and Loki on the bed in front of him, the dark blue comforter pulled up around their shoulders. Loki's pale left hand was laid out on the bedspread with the snaking IV cable running beside it. Jarvis's monitor displayed his steady breathing and heartbeat silently. On the other side of the bed Emily was breathing slowly with the cannula resting on her upper lip. In the gloom they looked equally pale and sported matching deep purple circles under their eyes. Tony could almost trick himself that the father and daughter were really related.

The soft knock came again.

Tony jumped up with a curse building for whoever was disturbing the little family. It was hardly to his lips by the time he opened the door, but the man waiting in the hall stunned him into silence.

"Hey." Clint said, eye falling to the floor. He still looked slightly pale from the blood loss and shock, but right now Tony didn't care much about the assassin's wellbeing. He was still boiling with anger.

"What the hell do you want?" Tony growled.

"He awake?"

"No."

"Who is it Tony?" Loki's whisper proved the angry retort wrong.

"No one," Tony muttered and moved to shut the door. Clint's hand shot out and slapped against the wood loudly, wedging the room open.

"I want to talk to him," Clint insisted, raising his voice so Loki could hear.

"Quiet!" Tony hissed. "You'll wake the kid."

"Sorry," Clint did look chastised, but Tony wasn't convinced.

"It's ok, Stark. Let him in."

"What?"

"He won't shoot me."

"How the hell do you know?"

"I know." Loki sounded assured and calm. Tony wavered for a moment, asking himself how much uncertainty Loki allowed with Emily in the room. Then he remembered something Loki had said back in DC; _I will never bet with Emily's life._ Loki had to be pretty sure about Clint then. Tony hated having to trust the character judgment of the God of Lies. But what choice did he have?

"Ugh!" Tony threw his hands up and stood back for the Agent. "If he wakes the kid I'll flatten his ass on the front lawn!" He told the half dead man lying in bed.

"I won't stop you," Loki replied with a soft chuckled. Clint edged into the room, eyes shifting between the other two men. He analyzed their strangely casual exchange with clear disapproval. For a moment he met Loki's eyes across the gloomy room.

"Would you give us a minute, Tony?" Loki asked.

"What? You want to be alone with this… fine!" Tony gave up arguing. He glared at Clint and threw one last indecipherable look at Loki. "I'll be downstairs. Jarv, call me when they're done or Hawkman forgets who's house he's in, _again_."

Tony stormed angrily—but silently—out of the room, closing the door behind him. He allowed himself muttered curses all the way down the stairs to the foyer, where he glared at his suit. It stood in stand my mode in the hallway next to the dark spot on the floor. Seeing it made Tony a bit nauseous still so he walked past it quickly. He glowered at Natasha, who was lounging on his living room couch as if she hadn't just invaded his home and shot his… his what? His friend? His lover? His roommate? How was he going to explain to two of the people Loki had hurt most what exactly he was doing with the ex-God of Mischief, would-be King of Earth in his house—much less in his bed. Tony shook off thoughts of semantics, he had bigger issues to worry about, and sat down across from the red head.

"If your BF so much as _touches _Loki. I will beat him with his own stupid bow until he's purple as his damn suit, that good with you Romanoff?"

"He won't."

"How the fuck would I know? He only shot the guy. This is my house Natasha! This is where we were supposed to be safe! And speaking of which: Jarv! Revoke Hawkman and Red's security privileges for my house—no, scratch that—all my buildings!"

"Clint won't touch Loki so long as the girl lives." Natasha snapped.

"What? He feels guilty now for trying to off a little kid. Isn't that what you two do? You kill people? That's your jobs."

"You know we don't kill children if we can avoid it," Natasha replied with a carefully blank expression.

"Not seeing why this means Loki's safe with you two in the same country!"

"Clint won't do anything to make her suffer."

"Why? He got a soft spot for little girls?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly but other than that she gave no outward signs of any kind.

"God I hate spies," Tony growled and jumped up. He was halfway across the room to the liquor cabinet when he remembered there was nothing in it. He uttered a curse under his breath a did a one eighty, heading toward the kitchen instead. He rummaged around for some kind of lunch. He was halfway through making a turkey sandwich when Natasha broke the silence.

"He had a son."

"What? Who?"

"Clint. He had a son." She got up off the couch and crossed the room slowly, throwing a wary glance toward the stairs as she passed. She settled down at the bar while Tony spread mayo on his bread.

"Hawkman doesn't seem like the father type. He knock-up his high school sweetheart?"

"His wife. Her name was Bobby—Barbara," Natasha said bluntly, her face still carefully impassive. "They were married before I knew him. They met on one of his first missions for SHIELD and afterward she relocated to be closer to him. He would spend his down time with her between missions. SHIELD was different back then, everything was different then."

"Why haven't I heard about this?" Tony asked, slapping the two halves together and immediately losing interested in his food. "You said 'was'. What happened to her?" His hands itched for something else to do. They clenched and unclenched on the counter top as Natasha went on.

"Clint killed her."

"What?" Tony felt blood draining from his face.

"That's the way he sees it. We make a lot of enemies, you know that as well as any of us. They came looking for him and found Booby and her son instead. Clint came back from a mission to find what was left." She could have been reading the phonebook from her tone but her words were like physical blows.

Natasha sat silently, staring Tony down unwaveringly. He just gripped the counter for support and swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He tried not to remember his own nightmares of what might have happened to Pepper, or anyone else who got to close to him. Something else Loki had said the first time they met echoed in the back of his mind; _the God of Mischief has too many enemies and I have no way of protecting her from them as I am now. _Tony felt his blood run cold. _That was supposed to be my job,_ he thought, _I was supposed to protect them when Loki couldn't. What if I hadn't been fast enough?_ The scene flashed before his eyes, walking in the door to find Emily lying in the hallway, suffocating or bleeding and Loki's blank sightless stare looking at him accusingly. Clint had lived that and survived. _How?_ Tony wondered.

"I met him not long after that," Natasha explained, "Clint swore after that he wouldn't get anyone else hurt because of his involvement with SHIELD. You can imagine New York and the events leading up to that were not… pleasant for him. Men died because of him, men with families like he lost. Today a father nearly lost his daughter because of his association with SHIELD. Clint won't hurt Loki so long as the girl lives," her voice took on a hard commanding note, "and you won't ask him anything else about it."

The force of her glare made Tony shiver. He felt light headed and quickly started breathing again.

"I didn't know," he said lamely.

"That's why I told you," she replied in the same neutral, unfeeling tone that she had delivered the message. Tony gulped and pushed the sandwich away across the counter. He really couldn't eat it now. He realized now why Clint looked so sick and pale. It wasn't just the blood loss. It wasn't just that he nearly shot a child. It was that he almost inflicted the same tragedy he suffered on someone else—even if that someone was Loki.

Tony sighed and hung his head. He made a mental note to ease up on Clint and Natasha's security privileges, maybe just put them on notice so they couldn't catch him by surprise again. Clint might even turn out to be an ally in the whole mess. It was clear that Loki's presence wasn't going to stay secret for much longer.

.

Clint was silent for along moment after Tony left the dim room. He looked over the man he'd shot. It was definitely Loki, the same face and eyes that had haunted his nightmares, but this version was undeniably fragile. He was paler and more tired looking than he had been, even during the invasion. He rivaled the little girl lying next to him for sympathy from appearance alone.

"Thank you," Loki's voice was soft and somewhat horse when he spoke, his eyes on the ceiling. He didn't bother, or wasn't able, to sit up. Clint's eyes widened in confusion and shock. He'd never heard the God thank anyone for anything, certainly not for shooting and wounding him.

"For not killing me," he answered Clint's unspoken question.

"I nearly did."

"But you didn't."

"Thank Tony."

"I have more to thank that man for than I could repay in a hundred human lifetimes. The scales can't fall further in that regard." Loki sounded genuine, almost caring when he talked about Tony. It was like their strange banter before. It was so at odds with the Loki that Clint knew it made him uneasy.

"You still talk funny," he muttered instead of asking any one of the burning questions about the former-god and billionaire's relationship.

"Stark says that too. Very old habits." Non malicious humor, maybe even humor at his own expense: Clint was immediately suspicious. He wouldn't put it past Loki to manipulate him even so crudely as that.

Silence fell on the dim room and the waves crashed outside as a dim background melody. Clint looked around the sparse room. He noted the old tattered quilt thrown over an armchair, a stack of stock printouts and financial magazines on the little table and a few hand drawn pictures taped at child's height on the wall by the balcony door.

"I know what you came to say," Loki whispered to the ceiling.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"That we're even. I had you at my mercy and now you have had me at yours. Fair's fair. I know you no longer have any desire to hurt me now that you understand the situation."

"Yeah? How do you know that?" Clint snapped a little too loudly and Emily groaned and rolled over. Loki glared at Clint and held up a finger to his lips. He then reached over to put his hand on the little girl's shoulder until she stilled. Loki adjusted the covers around her gently.

"I know," Loki whispered, "because I know you, as much as you hate to admit that."

"Fine," Clint shrugged. "Then we're done here." Halfway turned to leave Loki stopped him with one word.

"Novosibrisk."

Clint froze in mid step. Repressed memories clawed their way into the front of his mind and he fought them down staunchly.

"Did you ever tell her about what really happened there?" Loki asked, there was no reason to specify who "her" was. There was only one person in the world that Clint would tell about his short and bloody stay in Novosibrisk.

"Shut up!" Clint hissed, panic creeping up on him, "Don't you dare…"

"Why would I? It would gain me nothing." Loki cut off the agent's threat.

"Are you blackmailing me?" Clint hissed.

"No. I'm negotiation." Loki looked back up at the ceiling. "I don't think our debts are settled. I will concede that your attempt on my life, this wound, and what I endured are compensation for what I did to you, but what you did to _her, _to _my daughter_, that's another matter."

"What do you want from me?" Clint hissed.

"What you couldn't give yourself in Novosibrisk."

Clint straightened up and his nostrils flared.

"It's really all in your favor, Agent Barton," Loki said so softly it was almost lost in the sounds of the waves. "As soon as she dies there's no reason for you to leave me alive. You get your revenge and our deals are settled. You owe me nothing and gain everything. Maybe you will even find the solace in vengeance that I never did."

Clint knew his hands were shaking and his heart racing. He swallowed thickly twice before he could speak.

"Deal."

He turned quickly to go, fleeing the room and the request that turned his stomach for so many reasons. He was halfway out the door when he heard the murmured reply.

"Thank you."

Then the door shut and Clint was alone in the hallway breathing hard.

_Could I do that?_ He asked himself. Immediately he knew the answer.

_Yes. I could._

_Would it be right?_ He asked further. Could he do what Loki asked? He remembered his darkest days in the sunless city, hating SHIELD, hating himself, hating his pointless revenge. He thought about the hard days that followed and the people that pulled him though. Colson, Fury, and Natasha. Who would Loki have? Would they be enough? Pondering it Clint ambled back downstairs.

If he hadn't been distracted he might have noticed the look that Tony gave him or the man's uncharacteristic silence. But Clint was too wrapped up in his own confusion and moral dilemma, fighting panic and unearthed memories that he'd hoped never to revisit. He didn't speak when he got back to Natasha's side and she didn't ask him to. She nodded in understanding silence and got in the driver's seat. Clint was all to happy to put the mansion in the rear view mirror but he felt a strange magnetic draw pulling him back. It was almost an obligation that made up his mind. Natasha reached across the median when she saw that he was calmed down and put her hand over his. Clint forced a small smile for her. That was one of the things he loved about Tasha; sometimes they just didn't need words.

.

Loki woke up disoriented and in pain. He gritted his teeth and bore it though like he always had. The alternative was a needle in his hand, and that scared him more than pain. The very thought made him shudder. After many, many years of practice he was very good at ignoring his pain though and started reciting the oldest most complicated transformation spells he could remember. The knowledge was useless to him now, but it kept his mind busy. In Asgard he got a lot of his studies out of the way when he was avoiding pain. When he had a grip on the burning agony in his side he swallowed dryly and looked around him. The water glass by his bed was empty, as was the his room. Emily's side of the bed, where she had spent the past few days with him, was rumpled but cold. A rectangle of sunlight was making its way across the wall from the open balcony door, so it was late afternoon. Loki counted up the hours that had slipped by him. They were starting to bother him. He'd barely been able to keep his eyes open the past few days. He was immensely grateful every time he did force himself into wakefulness Emily's smile was the first thing he saw.

Loki managed to sit up on his elbows this time before the pain made him dizzy, which was an improvement. It wasn't until he threw back the covers that the automated house protested.

"Sir, I can't advise movement in your current state."

"Where are Tony and Emily?" Loki asked the house—Jarvis as it preferred to be called.

"They are out, sir. I believe their intent was to purchase macaroni and cheese for dinner and return before you awoke."

"Thank you, Jarvis."

"Your welcome, sir. But I must suggest you remain in bed."

Loki ignored the computers voice and gingerly eased his weight onto the floor. His legs shook and his side protested but he remained upright; Progress.

He stumbled slowly to the bathroom and fumbled through the cabinet for the over the counter pain pills. Something to—as Tony would say—knock the edge off. He almost wished that there was still a strong drink around the house to dull the stabbing burn; almost.

The bottle wasn't in the bathroom though. Loki went back for his glass, at least going to quench his thirst when he found the little pain pill bottle on his bedside table. A yellow sticky note was flapping on the top in the slight breeze from the open balcony door. Tony's heavy scrawl was on top and Emily's awkward letters on the bottom:

Ignore the instructions. Take four. –T

Be back soon Love, Emily

Loki smiled. He twisted off the top and saw one little pill rattling around it the bottom of the white container. He shook his head, still smiling. _Just like Tony,_ he thought, _thinks to set out the bottle but doesn't check the pills._ He dry swallowed the one and grabbed his glass.

The hall was a challenge that Loki tackled like anything else: with patience and stubborn bloody minded determination. He stopped once when blackness threatened to swallow him up and the hall wavered in front of his eyes. He practiced the meditative deep breathing his mother had taught him and pressed on.

He made it all the way to Tony's room before the blackness forced him to his knees. His hand flailed out for the wall but found only air. His palm hit the bed and it only barely stopped him from collapsing to the floor completely. Loki lowered himself slowly, trying to help the blood flow back to his brain. The darkness edged away from his vision and his mind cleared a little.

_Perhaps I should have just waited like Jarvis said,_ he thought reluctantly. He found himself staring at the dust under Tony's bed and the single thing between the mattress and the floor. Loki's brow creased in concentration. He peered into the deepening shadows at the little box. He reached out and only just managed to snag it with his long fingers. It rattled slightly as he dragged it back toward him.

Sitting up, pain forgotten, Loki opened the lid of the cardboard box. The first thing his eyes fell on was the photo in it's silver frame. It was almost completely white but a smiling freckled face framed with red blond hair stood out in the middle.

"Pepper," Loki said softly. The picture was of their wedding day judging by the white dress and the confetti flying around the happy couple. Loki marveled at how young Tony looked, even younger than when he had fought in New York. He seemed timeless in the photo, transformed by a joy that Loki had never seen in his friend.

Besides the framed photo there were a few loose ones, scenes of happy times for the couple. In all of them Tony was smiling or laughing—smirking once but even that familiar expression was transformed by the woman's presence—while she was joyful in a reserved way, subtle and yet caring in her looks. There was a necklace box containing a gaudy bejeweled monstrosity that only Tony Stark would buy for a woman of clearly refined taste. An artful desk plaque with the name _Virginia Potts CEO_ engraved across the glass was at the bottom. Wedged between that and the side of the box was a white envelope. Loki lifted it, noting the return address.

Mrs. V. Stark  
Penfield Hospice  
1788 Gable Dr.  
Santa Clarita, CA 91310

The date placed the letter nearly five years ago. Loki went to set it back down in the box, but paused when he heard the soft clink of metal inside the envelope. Carefully he peaked into the ripped top. Gold winked out from inside, one large wide band another narrow and the last weighed down with three large square diamonds. Loki closed the letter. He put the lid on the box and slid it back where he'd found it.

His hands ached to drag it back. He could hardly think about anything other than what that letter might say, what it might reveal about the woman who could love Tony Stark and what had happened to her. He cursed his curiosity. But he remembered Tony's words from what seemed like a long time ago but had only been little more than a week; _I would give up all the money in the world for another hour with Yensin… with Roody... my parents… my wife._

Loki sighed. He knew what the letter was. Just another memento of someone gone. Reading it wouldn't help Tony and it wouldn't satisfy Loki as much as his curiosity lied as told him it would. Tony deserved better than his prying. He'd never bothered Loki about what happened after his banishment but waited until the broken God was ready to share those stories. Didn't Tony deserve the same courtesy or more?

Loki stood up slowly cursing himself for having found morals somewhere in his fall from grace. Without them he could quite happily pick apart the whole box without a whiff of guilt. As it was Loki was feeling nauseous with the injustice he'd already done. It was a new and unwelcome sensation.

Downstairs a door opened and the squeaky wheel Emily's oxygen tank had developed echoed in the foyer.

"Do you think Daddy is awake?" Loki heard Emily's soft but excited voice coming up the stairs.

"I don't know. Let's go check. I hope he is or his dinner is going to be cold." Tony replied.

Emily giggle and then coughed. Loki winced at the sound.

"Drink little princess, then we go wake your daddy," Tony said to her sternly. Loki could imagine he was holding out a water bottle to her with a gentle smile but worry like hard chips of ice in his eyes. Maybe the guilt had it's trade offs, Loki admitted to himself and ambled to the door. Besides, Tony would tell him in his own time. Until then Pepper would just be one of the eccentric billionaire's many mysteries.

* * *

Author's Note: Yay, people have been leaving reviews. :) Makes me supper happy. I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I hope you stick around for the end. (Hope I get around to writing the end. I don't usually post anything unless I've already finished it so this will be new and exciting.) Leave me a review with your opinions, thoughts, feedback, grammar notes, grocery lists, etc. -Ember


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note:**REORDER!** Ok. I screwed up. I uploaded the chapters in the wrong order and I uploaded one to many. What was 9 is now 11, what was 10 is now 9, and you get a **NEW CHAPTER!** (Chapter 10 hit the previous button!) with Clint and Natasha and more about Pepper (yes! she is still a part of this plot because who doesn't love tragic romance?) -Ember

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Chapter 11

Tony woke up when the bed shifted underneath him. Sometime in the last four years he'd gotten used to the stillness. He'd become unaccustomed to movement in the night. His eyes fluttered open slowly as groggy sleep slipped away from him. He realized immediately once the fog cleared what had changed. Tony rolled over to look out toward the large windows where a thin figure was silhouetted against the ocean that was rippling with silver points of reflected light. Loki was standing, naked as he looked out onto the pale ribbon of beach below. His white skin seemed to almost glow like the far off sand. God or not he was gorgeous standing there.

"Another dream?" Tony asked, his voice rough.

Loki shook his head.

"Worrying again?"

"I was… thinking…"

"You don't have to tell me… if you aren't ready to—"

"About what you said: what you would give for a few more hours."

Tony sat up, all echoes of sleep clearing. He was suddenly alert and strung tight waiting for Loki to speak again.

"I… would like my brother to remember me this way. I want him to have at least one honest memory of me."

"I could call him right now… it's what? 10 in the morning in London."

"I…" Loki turned back to Tony quickly with fear in his wide eyes. He slowly licked his lips and swallowed hard. In his mind the former god was holding the image of Emily, Thor on her one side and Tony on the other. Loki nodded.

"Jarv," Tony said, without standing or bothering to get dressed, "call Jane Foster."

"Right away sir. Shall I assume by your state of undress you wish for a voice only call?"

"Yes, Jarvis. I think that's appropriate."

"Call in progress." A soft ringing sound came over the unseen speakers and echoed in the room. Loki crossed his arms gripping his biceps and holding his breath.

"Jane's phone," a very drone like female voice answered.

"Yeah… who the hell is this?" Tony demanded.

"Darcy."

"The sassy one with the taser?"

"Yeah, that's me. Who is this, you sound kind of like Tony Stark. But you couldn't be because why would Tony Stark be calling Jane's phone."

"Stark?" A new voice called loudly into the phone. Jarvis corrected almost automatically to the drastic shift in volume as Thor yelled into the receiver.

"What's up Point Break?"

"We are just starting the morning feast! Jane has made delicious cakes in a pan."

"Great, listen buddy. I have…" Tony glanced at Loki, who was pale and shaking slightly, "… a project and I need your help."

"Of course, I am always ready to help a fellow Avenger. Have you decided to rejoin us?"

"No, not really. I just need you to come and shoot some lightning around."

Loki's eyes nearly bulged out of his head when Tony said the words.

"Little lightning… you know…. Umm… How fast do you think you could be here?"

"I can be there as fast as the wind flies."

"No rush," Tony said hastily. "Think you could be here by tomorrow afternoon."

"Yes! Of course!"

"Great. Thanks big guy. See you then."

"You most surely will, Stark."

With a wave of his hand Tony signaled Jarvis to end the call. His dark eyes followed Loki as the taller man turned back to the water. Loki's shoulders were tense and his grip remained firm on his crossed arms. Tony strained to see his lover's reflection in the window, to catch the emotions but saw only a blank mask of indifference there.

"You ready for this?" Tony asked.

"I do not have time to be ready," Loki replied in a soft voice. Tony swallowed thickly. He was still searching for some way to respond to that when Loki turned and slid back into Tony's bed. Loki curled up around his knees, eyes unfocused. Tony laid down beside him, keeping his gaze steady on Loki until his eyelids grew heavy and drooped. No mater what either of them did now, tomorrow would come and so would Thor.

.

"Stark!" The doors of the mansion few open with hissing squeals of hinges and a resounding crash of frames against plaster. Tony jumped out of his seat at the dinning room table.

_"What was that?" _Gregor demanded on the other end of the video call open on Tony's tablet.

"Shit, he's early," Tony growled. "Got to go, call you tomorrow."

"What? Mr. Stark! This matter requires—" Anything else Gregor had to say was cut off as Tony hit the hang up button and dropped the tablet.

"Thor, what's up big guy?" Tony called out hurriedly as he scampered into the hallways. Thor's heavy footfalls seemed to rattle the house as he came in. "You're early." Tony felt his heart falling into his stomach when Thor's eyes flickered over the smaller man's head, out through the back window to the grassy lawn.

"Yes, Jane's mother was coming over," Thor said distractedly, "and Jane suggest that I spend the day—who is that outside?"

"Friend," Tony said too quickly, "Just visiting, it's well… it's a long story. We should really talk about—" Tony vainly tried to step between Thor and the window but Thor easily side stepped him with a larger stride and pushed on toward the window.

"Thor, buddy, it's not what you think it is…"

"How do you know what I am… it must be… but how?" Thor ignored Tony's hand on his arm and strode purposefully toward the back door.

_"Sir,"_ Jarvis's voice piped up as Tony gave chase.

"Not now."

_"Gregor is calling, sir. He says he will come here if you do not answer."_

"Shit! Stall him, Jarv," Tony called as he missed Thor's arm at the door and stumbled over the entry mat.

_"He is refusing to speak to me, sir."_

"God damn!" Tony did a one eighty in the door way and hurried back to the dinning room table with furtive glances out the back window as Thor closed in on his unsuspecting brother.

"'It was nearly midnight, and he was lying on his front in bed, the blankets drawn right over his head like a tent, a torch in one hand and a large leather-bound book…'" Loki read aloud in a clear voice, the words flowing off his lips easily without hesitation. He seemed to cradle each syllable before letting it out sounding clear and full. Emily sat beside him on the spread blanket, Christie in her lap almost forgotten as the little girl drank up the words. Behind them, just out of immediate view the tank sat in the grass, the clear cord snaking across the lawn toward the blanket.

"'Harry moved the tip of his eagle-feather quill down the page, frowning as he looked for something that would help him write his essay,'…" Loki paused as the approaching footsteps stopped behind him. He turned to tell Tony they would be ready for lunch soon. Unconsciously a smile had formed on his lips.

The smile froze then dissolved. The pleasantly warm sun that was heating up the early spring air was suddenly blistering and Loki's mouth was painfully dry. Beside him Emily turned away from the sea, wondering why the story had paused.

"Daddy?" She asked, turning to look at the new comer. Loki swallowed, his eyes never leaving the familiar face of the man standing over their blanket.

"Elskan, this is the guest I was telling you about."

"The important one?" She asked, shading her eyes to peer up at the much taller figure.

"Yes, Emi-min. That one," The last words were just a whisper over Loki's dry lips.

Thor knelt down so they didn't have to crane their necks. Mjolnir slipped from his hand as lightly as it could into the grass. The God smiled at the little girl looking back at him with skepticism.

"Hello, little one," He said, "I am Thor."

"Like the Superhero?"

"Yes, very much like," Thor replied with a nod.

"Oh. You're early."

"Yes… I apologize. I'm interrupting your story."

"You can listen too if you want. Daddy tells the best stories."

"I…" Thor turned meet his brother's gaze again. Loki gulped but kept a straight face, only his pleading eyes betrayed him.

"I would like that very much," Thor said with forced ease. He stood to move around to Emily's other side and sat on the far corner of the spread blanket. "What is this mighty tale?"

"Harry Potter," Emily said with a wide smile.

"Ah. I have been told it is a riveting tale yet I have not found the time nor patience to investigate that myself."

"Harry Potter is the best and Daddy reads it better than anyone."

"I do not doubt it. He has always been good at telling stories." Thor smiled genuinely down at the little girl in her knitted pink hat clutching her plastic doll. "When I was little I would sneak into your father's room at night after a bad dream and he would tell me the grandest stories until I could go to sleep again."

"Really?" Emily's eyes lit up and she turned quickly to her father with curiosity in her toothy smile. Loki was looking at Thor though, his mouth slightly open and a single drop rolling down his cheek. "Daddy?" Emily's worried tone snapped him out of shock.

"Yes, yes I did. I had forgotten that." Loki quickly whipped at his face. Emily pursed her lips, not convinced and glanced between the two men. "Shall we continue?" Loki asked.

She nodded solemnly. So Loki began again, his voice wavering at first but growing stronger with each line, picking up the rhythm again as he read.

"'And in the next moment, he was out in the dark, quiet street, heaving his heavy trunk behind him, Hedwig's cage under his arm.' End of chapter one," Loki said and closed the book.

"Another, Daddy?" Emily asked quickly as she could.

"Lunch first."

"But I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat, Emi-min. You have to keep up your strength," Loki knew his voice wavered and betrayed him. Emily's face fell from hope to resignation and she sighed. "I promise we can read the next chapter after lunch."

"During?"

Loki chuckled at her renewed hopes. "You know the rules."

"No books or screens at the table."

"That's right. Now let's go get Tony." Loki put the book under one arm and slowly eased himself onto his feet. He paused for a moment, standing over the small picnic and met Thor's gaze.

"Would you carry her?" Loki asked. Thor's eyebrows raised in surprise but he nodded without question. Emily held her arms out to him and the large man scooped her easily into the air as if she were nothing more than a doll.

"You should listen to your father, little one, you are far too light," Thor said with an easy laugh. Missing Loki's flinch, he continued, "Food will do you good."

"I'm not hungry though," Emily mumbled, straightening Chrissy's hair. Loki bending gingerly, gathered the blanket and tank before leading his brother and daughter back toward the house.

Tony was waiting at the door with an apologetic look for Loki but a hopeful, questioning smile. Thor went in first to set Emily at the dinning room table.

"On a scale of one to multiple-traumatic-injuries how bad?" Tony asked, first chance he got.

Loki flashed him an anxious look.

"Could be better," Tony concluded, "at least he hasn't shot you yet… or smashed anything."

Loki's next expression conveyed his utter lack of amusement.

"I'll get her something to eat, give you two a chance to talk," Tony said and headed off toward the kitchen. Loki's jaw dropped a few centimeters then he glared with betrayal after his lover.

"What are you hungry for kid?" Tony called to Emily as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Nothing," she said despondently. "Where are you going?" She asked as Thor moved away from her.

"He's just going to talk with your dad," Tony explained for the God who was clearly at a loss for what to say.

"Will you come back and listen to the next chapter with me?"

"If your father is alright with that, I would enjoy that very much."

"Can he, daddy?" She leaned around Thor's large figure to meet Loki's eyes.

"We'll see," Loki replied.

"Please," Emily begged.

"If Thor behaves himself."

"Ok." Emily nodded and turned back to her chair. Thor ambled away with furtive glances back at Emily's small frail form. She was already shooting down Tony's lunch suggestions when he followed Loki out of the back door and back onto the pool patio.

Loki wandered to a reclining pool chair and sat slowly with a grateful expression and a heavy sigh. He held his side lightly as he settled into the seat. Thor followed slowly, standing awkwardly over his estranged brother.

"I think I shall never believe you dead again," Thor broke the silence, "twice I have and been proven the fool for it."

"I have only knowingly deceived you once," Loki replied honestly. "Death was my intention when I first fell from Asgard."

"The norns must have blessed you then." Thor said with a forced laugh but Loki just frowned.

"My survival has been nothing but a curse."

"Do not say that brother."

"Is it not true? So many times I have brushed with death and every times she turns me away. I can almost hear her saying, I will not take you yet there is more pain still in your future."

"Surely that can not be true. I am reunited with you again. Is that not good in some small way?"

"That…" Loki stole himself to look up into his brother's face for a fleeting moment. "I don't know yet." Loki swallowed and shook his head. "It was selfish of me to ask you here."

"Stark brought me here on your request?"

"Yes… I… _our_ time is running out."

"Time?" Thor's brow furrowed and Loki's eyes flickered to the large windows separating him from his daughter.

"Emily…" Loki's voice faltered and he cleared his throat, looking away toward the ocean. Barely whispering he continued, "Emily is dying."

"She is ill?"

"Very, she has been for nearly four years."

"And there is no cure?"

"Not in mortal medicine."

"But you are well versed in the sedir arts of healing, can you not save her?"

"All the knowledge of Asguard does me no good as I have not the faculties to use it." Loki's jaw shook with tension as he glared at the concrete and tile siding of the pool at his feet.

"I do not understand."

"I am human, Thor," Loki looked his brother in the eye, "just as you were when Odin banished you here as he did me."

"Father banished you?"

"He is not my father," Loki spat.

"No more than she is your daughter!" Thor growled back. "She is no blood of yours but you care for her, I see it. I am not so blind as you think."

"When have you ever known that man to _care_ for me? Mother cared for me just as I care for Emily. I do think you blind, blinded by your own good fortune. Misfortune has shown me the truth. I am nothing but a pawn, a disposable bargaining chip to him!"

"He has loved and care for you as—"

"Do _not_ patronize me as you did in front of her, do _not _lie to me."

"Patronize? You think I lied. Do you not remember those nights?"

"I remember them but it was I coming to you, never the opposite. I was punished when Odin found me hiding in your curtains. For weeks he locked me into my bedroom at night so I might learn courage."

"It was but one night, never weeks. And how can you say you do not remember? For a month after our trip to the southern mountains there was not a night I did not visit you."

"I…" Loki paused, a sharp retort on his tongue died into a whisper. He took a deep breath and winced as it pulled his side. "I had forgotten that."

"Yet you remember imagined grievances?"

"You were not witness to every waking moment of my life."

"No," Thor admitted, "nor can I say I was privy to your thoughts. You have surprised and fooled me many times."

"I was not always truthful with you, no," Loki agreed.

"You have surprised me again," Thor forced a laugh and a small smile. "I thought you dead and instead find you in the home of a dear friend. How long have you been here?"

"Emily and I moved in with Tony six months ago. I have been on Midguard more than five years."

"Why did you never seek me out before? Did you think I would turn you away?"

"It… it wasn't that simple."

"Please explain it to me, brother. Why call me here now?"

"I wanted you to meet her, my family…" Loki said softly, looking back toward Emily within picking at a plate while Tony talked animatedly. "I… I do not have much time left."

"You are not sick."

"No." Loki paused, lost in thought before adding almost defensively, "but you will far outlive me. These human years could very well be compared to mere days for us… for you."

"Brother, thank you."

"I have not been much of a brother to you."

"You are not the only one at fault. Since Svartalfheim I have given our history much thought. Mother always believed there was good in you. She was perhaps the only person who truly knew you. I did not listen to her. I gave up hope."

"No. I _was _lost. I do not deny what I have done and I will not try to justify those actions. I spent a long time blaming you for your blindness and arrogance. At the same time I was blind to my own nature and arrogant myself." Loki took a deep shuddering breath. "I am sorry, brother."

"I forgive you."

"So easily?" Loki questioned in shock that was written across his face.

Thor smiled and came to sit beside his brother on the long chair. He eased his weight down gently, afraid it wouldn't hold. Together they sat facing the window wall watching Tony and Emily making faces at each other. Emily burst out laughing and Tony celebrated his triumph. Grudgingly the little girl picked up an apple slice and shoved it in her mouth. Loki couldn't hold back his smile. Tony caught his gaze through the window and winked.

"I want to believe," Thor said, "that some part of the person I used to know was real. I see the brother I thought lost for good when you are with her, that is enough for me."

"You are still naive, brother," Loki said with a chuckle but there was no hint of malice in it and Thor chuckled as well.

"I would rather be naive than unhappy."

"Yes, sometimes I envy you that. Come, Emily is finishing her lunch and she will be anxious for another chapter."

"As am I!" Thor jumped up with a grin and strode for the door. Loki followed more slowly with a small smile. He was happily surprised, Thor might even do Emily good.


End file.
